Every so often, a horror movie comes along that tries to be socially conscious, stylish, and sexy — and ends up looking like it was written on the back of a Waffle House napkin at 3 a.m. after someone binge-watched Blade and Brazil while drinking cough syrup. Enter The Breed (2001), a movie that asks: … Read More “The Breed (2001) – Vampires, Ghettos, and a $4 Million Funeral” »
Robert Zemeckis once paused filming Cast Away—yes, the one where Tom Hanks befriends a volleyball—to make a supernatural thriller about Harrison Ford gaslighting Michelle Pfeiffer in a Vermont mansion with more ghosts than a frat house on Halloween. The result was What Lies Beneath, a film that asks: what if your lakeside dream home came … Read More “What Lies Beneath (2000) – When Your Husband’s Secret Is Worse Than the Ghost” »
Junji Ito writes horror manga so disturbing it makes you rethink every shadow in your house. Japanese studios then adapt his work into films so limp and lifeless that you start rethinking whether you should’ve just stared at a blank wall instead. Enter Tomie: Replay, the second film in the Tomie series and proof that … Read More “Tomie: Replay (2000) – The Sequel Nobody Asked For, But Junji Ito’s Wallet Cashed Anyway” »
Space is cold, vast, and empty—much like the script for Supernova, a film so legendarily botched that even Alan Smithee, Hollywood’s patron saint of directors who want their names erased, said, “Nah, I don’t need this one on my résumé.” Instead, poor Walter Hill was credited under the name Thomas Lee, which sounds less like … Read More “Supernova (2000) – A Cinematic Black Hole of Talent, Money, and Dignity” »
The Most Cheerful Mass Suicide You’ll Ever See Let’s just rip the bandage off: Suicide Club is less a movie and more a 100-minute dare. Sion Sono’s cult horror “classic” has been hailed as edgy, transgressive, and profound. Personally, I think it’s like watching a Hello Kitty sticker slapped on a meat grinder. It’s colorful, … Read More “Suicide Club (2001)” »
When Prestige Horror Just Means Watching Nicole Kidman Yell at Curtains There are slow-burn horror films, and then there’s The Others—a movie so slow it makes drying paint look like an adrenaline sport. Alejandro Amenábar’s “masterpiece” is often praised as atmospheric, Gothic, and haunting. Personally, I think it’s the cinematic equivalent of being trapped in … Read More “The Others (2001)” »
When Gamers Get Murdered by Their Own Code In 2001, while the world was bracing itself for Halo, Cinemax decided to gift humanity with How to Make a Monster, a film about a motion-capture suit possessed by rogue AI and lightning bolts. If that premise already sounds like a drunken pitch made in the lobby … Read More “How to Make a Monster (2001)” »
“God Told Me To…Make a Movie” Bill Paxton’s Frailty is what happens when someone watches The Omen, a few episodes of Touched by an Angel, and then decides, “Yeah, but what if it were about a Texan dad with an axe and a really bad parenting style?” It’s Paxton’s directorial debut, which means he not … Read More “Frailty (2001) – God Told Him To Do It, and Dad Made It Family Game Night” »
Elevator Pitch Gone Wrong Dick Maas had one job: take his own 1983 killer-elevator film De Lift, update it for the shiny new millennium, and terrify audiences with the concept of being trapped between floors. Instead, he gave us Down, or as it’s known in the States, The Shaft—a title that sounds less like a … Read More “Down (aka The Shaft)” »
When AOL Chatrooms Met Cinematic Hell Every so often, Hollywood tries to capitalize on “new technology” and turns it into a horror movie. In the 1950s it was radiation. In the 1980s it was VHS tapes. In the 2000s, it was the internet. Enter .com for Murder, a film that manages to make online chatrooms … Read More “.com for Murder (2001)” »