Imagine Ed Wood, in a hotel bathtub, chain-smoking Camels, rewriting Frankenstein from memory, after watching Little Shop of Horrors on fast-forward, while on muscle relaxers and thinking, “What if NASA had a greenhouse?” That’s Venus Flytrap. Or The Revenge of Dr. X. Or The Devil’s Garden. Or Body of the Prey. Or maybe just Why … Read More “Venus Flytrap (1970) — This Garden Should’ve Stayed Buried” »
If you’ve ever wanted to watch Eyes Wide Shut, Logan’s Run, A Clockwork Orange, and a vampire movie all at once—while high on absinthe and philosophical dread—Jean Rollin’s La Vampire Nue (The Nude Vampire) is your answer. And no, it doesn’t matter that nothing quite adds up. Because the film isn’t here to “add up.” … Read More “La Vampire Nue (1970) — Twilight for Art School Dropouts” »
Ah yes, The Snake Man—or as it’s sometimes known in various translations, The Snake King’s Wife, That One Movie Where the Snake Gets Lucky, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Reptilian Romance. This 1970 Cambodian mythological fever dream is a cinematic casserole of snake sex, soap opera hysterics, and enough moral whiplash … Read More “The Snake Man (1970) “Ssssseriously?”” »
There are bad movies. Then there are cursed relics of celluloid, dragged out of the cinematic tombs of obscurity like a mummified housecat in a cursed pyramid. Shadow of Illusion—also known as Ombre roventi, Le ombre, and probably What the Hell Did We Just Watch?—is an Italian horror-ish fever dream with the consistency of week-old … Read More “Shadow of Illusion (1970-ish, Maybe? Who Knows?) “Now You See It, Now You Wish You Didn’t”” »
In the golden age of ABC’s Movie of the Week—a glorious era when network TV served up B-movie weirdness directly into your living room between commercials for Shake ’n Bake and Virginia Slims—Night Slaves stood out as something surprisingly effective. And yes, it has all the markers of a schlocky TV thriller: alien possession, metal … Read More “Night Slaves (1970) “Invasion of the Body Snatchers, But Make It Marriage Counseling”” »
If you’re ever curious what it would look like if Scooby-Doo got a lobotomy and wandered onto a Lifetime set, look no further than The House That Would Not Die, a made-for-TV horror flick so lifeless even its ghosts seem bored to be haunting it. This 1970 ABC Movie of the Week manages to turn … Read More ““The House That Would Not Die” (1970) Subtitle: This House Should’ve Stayed in Escrow” »
“God is dead, the teens are doomed, and the monsters are Ray Harryhausen’s evil cousins. Welcome to the weird, wonderful madness of Equinox.”* There’s a peculiar joy to watching a movie that shouldn’t work—but somehow absolutely does. Equinox, a supernatural horror curio stitched together from a student short and expanded with duct tape, demon sweat, … Read More “Equinox (1970): When the Devil Shows Up and Brings Stop-Motion With Him” »
There’s an old curse that goes something like: May your horror movie open with a Poe quote it can’t possibly live up to.And so begins Cry of the Banshee, a 1970 Vincent Price vehicle that feels like The Crucible got blackout drunk with Witchfinder General, had a fling with Hammer Horror, and then birthed something … Read More “Cry of the Banshee (1970) “Double, double toil and trouble, Vincent Price chews scenery on the double.”” »
If Count Yorga, Vampire were a wine, it would be boxed, left out in the sun, and corked with a garlic clove that only makes things worse. What begins as a séance hosted by a Bulgarian mystic ends in bloodless bloodsucking, a dead kitten, and a heavy dose of accidental comedy. This is what happens … Read More “Count Yorga, Vampire (1970) “Dracula called—he wants his dignity back.”” »
If you ever wondered what would happen if Peyton Place, General Hospital, and a seedy motel softcore flick all collided headfirst on a soundstage formerly owned by Bela Lugosi, well—congratulations—you’ve already envisioned Blood Mania. A film that promises erotic horror and delivers mostly sunburned soap opera, with the occasional assisted murder thrown in like a … Read More “Blood Mania (1970) “Sometimes murder is the only cure. Other times, it’s just bad cinema.”” »