Plastic Surgery, Portraits, and Pompous Madness The Blood Rose dares to ask the question no one needed answered: What if Eyes Without a Face got drunk, stumbled into a beauty salon, and had a midlife crisis? Directed by Claude Mulot, better known for his forays into erotica than high-concept horror, this alleged “gothic thriller” is … Read More ““The Blood Rose” (1970) “Beauty is pain—and apparently, so is watching this movie.”” »
A Monsterpalooza from the Milky Way’s Clearance Bin If Hammer Horror and late-night sci-fi TV made sweet, unholy love in the back of a Spanish carnival tent, the result would be Los Monstruos del Terror—also known under so many titles it might qualify for the Witness Protection Program. This movie is pure Euro-horror madness, a … Read More ““Los Monstruos del Terror” (1970) “In space, no one can hear you growl, unless you’re Paul Naschy.”” »
Welcome to the Graveyard of Gothic Tropes If you’ve ever wondered what happens when a studio slaps Vincent Price and Christopher Lee’s names on a movie poster, tosses in some half-baked Poe references, and then lets a wax museum mannequin handle the lead role—The Oblong Boxis your answer. It’s not so much a film as … Read More “The Oblong Box (1969) “Boxed, bored, and buried—sometimes it’s not just the dead that should stay underground.”” »
A Remake…With More Dysfunction and Less Logic The Mad Room is what happens when you try to repackage a 1940s drawing-room melodrama for a post–Psycho audience, add a dash of mental illness, some art deco furniture, and a barking subplot (literally). Based loosely—veryloosely—on Ladies in Retirement, this 1969 horror-thriller never quite decides whether it wants … Read More “The Mad Room (1969) “When your family reunion includes butcher knives, saber-slashings, and a surprise dog funeral—maybe just cancel next time.”” »
If ever a movie tried to merge Victorian repression with high-school cliques and a light tutorial in basement taxidermy, it’s The House That Screamed—or as I like to call it, The Doll Factory of Dr. Freud’s Wettest Dreams. Directed by Narciso Ibáñez Serrador and starring Lilli Palmer in a role that demands more eyebrow arching … Read More “The House That Screamed (1969) “The Finishing School” — Where Young Women Are Finished Off, One Disjointed Scene at a Time.” »
Picture it: rural Connecticut, 1971. A woman fresh out of a mental institution heads to a secluded farmhouse with her husband and a friend. The goal? Relax. Heal. Start fresh. The result? A hallucination parade that feels like The Haunting on downers, dressed up in gauze, paranoia, and one killer cello score. Welcome to Let’s Scare … Read More “Let’s Scare Jessica to Death (1971) Or: How to Gaslight Yourself Into a Nervous Breakdown With Style” »
Ah, The Incredible 2-Headed Transplant. The name alone makes you feel like you’ve stumbled into a fever dream inside a discount Halloween store. This 1971 cinematic cry for help asks one simple question: What if a childlike giant and a serial killer shared a body? The answer, it turns out, is 87 minutes of incoherent … Read More “The Incredible 2-Headed Transplant (1971) – Two Heads, No Brains” »
Let’s get one thing straight right off the bat: Dr. Jekyll y el Hombre Lobo is not your average monster movie. It’s your three-monster minimum movie. You get a tortured werewolf, a deranged Mr. Hyde, and Paul Naschy looking like he wandered onto the set after a bar fight in a castle. Add in a … Read More “Dr. Jekyll and the Wolfman (1971) – A Howl, a Hyde, and a Whole Lot of Hair Gel” »
If you’ve ever wondered what it might feel like to watch a car crash happen in slow motion — but also somehow backward, underwater, and narrated by a haunted jukebox — Blood of Ghastly Horror is your answer. This cinematic trainwreck, stitched together by B-movie maestro Al Adamson from the spare parts of three separate … Read More “Blood of Ghastly Horror (1967) – A Zombie, a Mad Scientist, and a Doll Full of Jewels Walk Into a Motel Room…” »
Somewhere between Faust, The Wolfman, and a sweaty community theater production of Inherit the Wind, lives Beast of the Yellow Night — a film that dares to ask: What if Satan granted you immortality, but you spent most of it looking like a werewolf who lost a fight with a leaf blower? Produced in the … Read More “Beast of the Yellow Night (1971) – Satan’s Furriest Henchman Meets Existential Crisis” »
