If Four Flies on Grey Velvet had a heartbeat, it would be irregular, off-tempo, and probably scored by a very confused Ennio Morricone wondering how he ended up composing for a film that feels like a student art project on ketamine. Dario Argento’s third giallo entry is like watching a magician fumble the final act, … Read More “Four Flies on Grey Velvet (1971) “The only mystery greater than the killer’s identity is how this film still has fans.”” »
Imagine you’re trapped in a beige nightmare where time moves slower than molasses, murder is committed with the energy of someone choosing wallpaper, and the most horrifying thing isn’t the act of violence—it’s how thoroughly disinterested everyone seems about it. Welcome to Crucible of Horror, a movie so muted and slow-burning, it makes Downton Abbey … Read More “Crucible of Horror (1971) “Where murder meets ennui and nobody has the courtesy to stay dead.”” »
If The Wicker Man is the cult classic that burned its way into our collective pagan consciousness, and Witchfinder Generalis a lesson in how to ruin your village with puritanical overreach, then The Blood on Satan’s Claw is the demented middle child of British folk horror—the one with cloven hooves, a fur problem, and a … Read More “The Blood on Satan’s Claw (1971) “Puberty is hell. Especially when Satan is driving.”” »
If ever there was a murder mystery that needed an exorcism, a caffeine drip, and a heavy dose of coherent storytelling, it’s Paolo Cavara’s Black Belly of the Tarantula—a giallo film that should come with a map, a magnifying glass, and maybe a sedative. Despite the presence of Giancarlo Giannini, Barbara Bouchet, Barbara Bach, and … Read More “The Black Belly of the Tarantula (1971) “This spider’s got no bite and way too much belly.”” »
Welcome to the Meat Show If you’ve ever looked at a sheep carcass soaked in Pine-Sol and thought, “Yes, this is what cinema should be,” then congratulations—you might be Herschell Gordon Lewis. The Wizard of Gore, Lewis’s 1970 trip through disembowelment, hypnotism, and stage magic gone grotesquely awry, is less of a movie and more … Read More “The Wizard of Gore (1970) “Now appearing: Montag the Magnificent and the Case of the Exploding Sheep Guts”” »
In Space, No One Can Hear You… Snooze Ah, Space Amoeba—the movie that dared to ask: what if aliens invaded Earth, but instead of laser beams or cunning plans, they just kind of… oozed into sea life and hoped for the best? Directed by Ishirō Honda—who once brought us the majesty of Godzilla—this film feels … Read More “Space Amoeba (1970) “Tentacles, crabs, and turtle trauma—finally, a kaiju film that makes you long for a meteor strike.”” »
Welcome to the House That Subtext Forgot Imagine if Sunset Boulevard and Psycho had a lovechild, abandoned it in a haunted Walgreens parking lot, and then forced it to be raised on a diet of expired soap operas and antifreeze. That’s Savage Intruder, a 1970 psychological horror film that gives us Miriam Hopkins in her … Read More “Savage Intruder (aka Hollywood Horror House) “Come for the faded starlet, stay for the cleaver-based career counseling.”” »
When Greek Mythology Met Budget Hell: A How-Not-To-Guide to Horror Incense for the Damned is that rare film that asks: What if The Picture of Dorian Gray, Dracula, and your Oxford thesis on the sexual repression of 19th-century British men had a horribly confused love child… and then abandoned it in Greece during a drug-fueled … Read More ““Incense for the Damned” (1971) “This vampire flick doesn’t suck blood—it just sucks.”” »
Veronica Lake’s Final Role: A Maggot-Fueled Swan Dive into Madness If Flesh Feast had any more camp, it would qualify for a summer job at a national park. Shot in 1967 but kept in cinematic quarantine until 1970 (possibly for crimes against storytelling), this low-budget horror mess is notable for exactly one thing: being the … Read More ““Flesh Feast” (1970) “The maggots weren’t the only things feasting on flesh—this movie devoured Veronica Lake’s career and spat out the bones.”” »
Wilde on Quaaludes—and It Works Massimo Dallamano’s Dorian Gray (a.k.a. The Secret of Dorian Gray, a.k.a. The Sins of Dorian Gray, a.k.a. The One Where Dorian Gets Really, Really Naked) isn’t your high school English teacher’s Oscar Wilde adaptation. No, this is a disco ball dipped in absinthe, rolled through a sex club, and projected … Read More ““Dorian Gray” (1970) “The only thing more eternal than Dorian’s beauty is this film’s commitment to sin with impeccable tailoring.”” »