If cinematic franchises were house pets, Shake, Rattle & Roll would be that ancient, half-blind dog who keeps bumping into furniture but refuses to stop wandering around. After a nine-year hiatus, Shake, Rattle & Roll Extreme stumbles back into theaters like a relative who wasn’t invited to the reunion but shows up anyway, clutching a tray of cold spaghetti, insisting everyone still loves their cooking.
Technically, this is the sixteenth installment in the longest-running horror anthology series in the Philippines. Emotionally, it feels like the four-hundredth. And just like the annual horror TV specials your grandparents swear were terrifying, Shake, Rattle & Roll Extreme exists mainly to remind us that nostalgia is a powerful drug — far more powerful than the writing in at least two-thirds of this film.
Yes, critics were “mixed to positive,” but critics also once praised a movie about a psychic octopus. So let’s not rely too heavily on that.
What we have here is a trilogy of stories — “Glitch,” “Mukbang,” and “Rage” — each one a chaotic buffet of overacting, underthinking, and supernatural creatures who look like they were designed during a brownout.
“Glitch”: Or, How to Summon a Demon Goat Using Only an iPad and Poor Parenting
The first story, “Glitch,” is what happens when The Ring and a knockoff children’s YouTube channel collapse into each other like two dying stars. Lyka, a lonely child unfairly blamed for everything from broken tablets to the weather, finds comfort in a demonic knockoff of Jollibee named Gary the Goat. Gary is the sort of mascot who looks like he was kicked out of a theme park for frightening toddlers. If Satan ever opened a petting zoo, Gary would run customer service.
Lyka invites the creature into her home using an incantation — which begs the question: who approved a kid’s show that teaches children demonic Latin? The MTRCB? Influencers? Congress?
The family dog, Choppy, senses danger and immediately becomes the film’s most sympathetic character. Naturally, this means he dies horribly and early, because if Shake, Rattle & Roll is good at one thing, it’s making sure pets don’t survive past the fifteen-minute mark.
From there, the story spirals into a violent goat-themed disaster. Hasmine, the housekeeper, gets decapitated. Patrick’s love life is exposed by haunted WiFi. A stuffed toy materializes out of nowhere like a cursed Shopee delivery. And Gary’s true demon form is revealed: picture the Black Phillip goat from The Witch, but if he were sculpted from melted crayons.
The climax involves religious statues, divine staffs, and Lyka throwing the sword of Saint Michael with the casual accuracy of a child who apparently trains in heavenly combat on weekends. Ingrid stabs Gary dramatically, collapses, and leaves her children to cry — though honestly, the greatest tragedy is realizing this story still lasts another ten minutes.
“Glitch” aims for terrifying but lands closer to paranormal sitcom with murder.
“Mukbang”: Influencers, Cannibals, and the Moral Lesson That Content Really Is King
Next up is “Mukbang,” a parable about why you should never trust influencers, your friends, or anyone who invites you to a mansion for a collaboration. It’s also a cautionary tale for viewers who consume too much social media and start believing that strangers eating lechon on camera are their true family.
A pack of influencers travels to a remote mansion for a mukbang livestream with fellow content creators Raye and Robin. They are greeted by Mang Isko, a man whose entire vibe screams “Do NOT eat anything I give you.” Naturally, Chef Kino cooks up mystery meat from him, and everyone happily consumes it, establishing this group as the dumbest collection of human beings ever assembled for a horror film.
The twist: the meat is people. Yes, the assistants Beyonce and Hannah get butchered like expired groceries, cooked, and served — turning the collab into a literal “eat your friends” challenge. Somewhere, Gordon Ramsay is crying.
The two dead assistants return as shape-shifting monsters undergoing “transfiguration,” which seems to basically mean “turning into zombified versions of themselves with worse skin care.” The story hops between horror and comedy, though the comedy is mostly unintentional — especially when Ashley livestreams her own terror like a true content soldier, then shoves Adelle toward danger like she’s playing Survivor: Cannibal Edition.
The slaughter unfolds with the same energy as a family reunion gone wrong, and by the end only Chef Kino survives because the monsters “like his cooking.” Meaning the most qualified person in this film still ends up prepping corpse tapas for his new monster bosses.
If you’ve ever wanted a Black Mirror episode directed by someone who’s never used the internet, “Mukbang” is your gift.
“Rage”: Zombies, Parasitic Rocks, and the Most Stressed Pregnant Woman in Any Movie Ever
Finally, “Rage” offers us zombie parasites from outer space, because after goats and cannibals, why not toss in a meteorite plague? The story begins with a group of friends on a road trip — the kind of group where you can’t remember their names, their personalities, or why they exist.
Bong, who earns the prestigious award for Dumbest Character, touches a glowing meteorite fragment and immediately becomes infected. If meteor rocks could smell stupidity, they found their perfect host. He stabs Shai, dies, revives, and repeats the process like a malfunctioning horror animatronic.
Coy reveals his village is zombified, which everyone should’ve figured out thirty minutes ago considering the villagers look like they escaped from a rehearsal for Train to Busan: The Pobre Edition.
The group meets the Kapitana, a woman who single-handedly proves local leadership is not always a good idea. She drugs everyone, hides corpses in her house, and keeps her zombie son alive like he’s a pet goldfish. Eventually, she dies by falling into her son’s arms — truly a heartwarming family moment, if your family enjoys cannibalism.
As the zombies swarm, Alfie becomes infected, Moze dies heroically, Faya gives birth during the apocalypse, and Trina escapes with the baby, who will probably grow up needing therapy, antibiotics, and a restraining order from any future meteors.
The final news broadcast declares the outbreak global, which raises the film’s most important unanswered question: how many sequels will Regal force us to endure?
Final Verdict
Shake, Rattle & Roll Extreme is not the worst entry in the franchise — but only because that bar is buried deep in a cursed cemetery somewhere in Laguna. It’s entertaining the way a train crash is entertaining: chaotic, loud, and leaving you wondering why you kept watching.
It’s goofy, messy, wild, and occasionally fun, but if the title promises “EXTREME,” the content delivers more of a mildly spicy horror stew.
If this is the direction for Shake, Rattle & Roll Evil Origins in 2025, we may need to bless the theater before entering.
