Ah yes, Sometimes They Come Back… Again (1996). A title so redundant it sounds like the franchise itself is apologizing. If the first movie was an unnecessary adaptation of a lesser Stephen King short story, this straight-to-video sequel is the cinematic equivalent of reheated leftovers that were bad even the first time. Directed by Adam Grossman, it stars Michael Gross (yes, the dad from Family Ties), Alexis Arquette chewing scenery like it’s her last meal, and a young Hilary Swank, whose Oscar-winning future surely made her weep whenever someone brought up this VHS embarrassment. Let’s dig into this unholy casserole of greasers, demons, and bad hair dye.
Family Ties to Hell
Michael Gross plays Jon Porter, a psychologist who returns to his hometown for his mother’s funeral. Already, the man looks like he’d rather be analyzing Alex P. Keaton’s neuroses than fending off undead greasers. He’s saddled with his daughter Michelle (Hilary Swank), who spends the entire film looking like she wandered onto the wrong set and is waiting for Clint Eastwood to yell “cut.”
Turns out Jon’s mother didn’t just fall off a roof—she was murdered by Tony Reno, a greaser demon who killed Jon’s sister thirty years earlier. Tony’s method of resurrection? Killing people and using their body parts in rituals. It’s like Frankenstein, if Frankenstein wore leather jackets and hung out at diners in hell.
Alexis Arquette as Tony Reno: Demon Elvis
Alexis Arquette struts through this film like a Vegas lounge act possessed by Satan. Tony Reno is supposed to be menacing, but he mostly comes off like a drunk extra from Grease who took a wrong turn into Hellraiser. His seduction technique? Gift a teenage girl a pocket watch like he’s some demonic time-share salesman. His big kill? Murdering a mentally challenged gardener with a lawnmower, which is less horror and more rejected America’s Funniest Home Videosclip.
Hilary Swank: From Demon Bait to Million Dollar Baby
Before she was a two-time Academy Award winner, Hilary Swank was Michelle Porter, a girl who befriends a psychic, a boy-crazy blonde, and the aforementioned doomed gardener. In this movie, her job is to look confused, scream, and get kidnapped. Basically, she’s practicing for every “Final Girl 101” class Hollywood had to offer. Watching this performance knowing where her career went is like watching someone practice Shakespeare while dressed as a Power Ranger—it’s impressive, but also deeply tragic.
The Plot (or Lack Thereof)
This film is like a greatest hits album of horror clichés:
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Creepy hometown return ✔️
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Traumatized childhood memory ✔️
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Sexy but evil villain ✔️
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Psychic best friend who exists only to die ✔️
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Priest with a useless ritual ✔️
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Demons who can’t seem to stay dead ✔️
Tony resurrects his buddies Vinnie and Sean by killing off secondary characters like he’s working through a grocery list. Maria, the boy-crazy blonde? Dead. Jules, the psychic? Dead by death-tarot. Even the priest gets the axe while muttering Latin like he’s auditioning for the Vatican Channel. It’s all leading up to Tony kidnapping Michelle for a ritual that looks less like a satanic ceremony and more like a high school drama club staging The Exorcist on a $50 budget.
Kills So Bad They’re Almost Good
One thing you hope for in a horror sequel is inventive kills. Instead, this movie gives us:
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Lawn mower homicide (but shot so poorly you don’t see anything).
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Tarot card slashing (which sounds cool until you realize it looks like paper cuts).
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Head-banging demons who look like they’re at a Misfits concert.
Every death is either offscreen, implied, or so cheap you expect to see the boom mic in frame. It’s horror without the horror—like a slasher flick where the killer is armed with a strongly worded letter.
Michael Gross, Professional Sigh Machine
Michael Gross plays Jon Porter as though his paycheck was stapled to the script. He sighs through every line, delivers exorcism rituals like he’s ordering a sandwich, and spends most of the runtime looking vaguely annoyed. You can practically hear him thinking: At least Tremors had giant worms. Here, I’m fighting Alexis Arquette in eyeliner.
The Ending That Won’t Stay Dead
In true 90s direct-to-video fashion, the climax is a retread of the first film’s finale. Jon recreates the circumstances of his sister’s death, only this time he manages to save his daughter. Tony and his gang get banished back to Hell by the priest’s ritual, and all seems well. Until the credits roll—and Tony pops up again, smirking, to remind us that sometimes they don’t just come back… they keep coming back until the franchise stops making money.
Why This Movie Fails Spectacularly
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Redundancy – The first film wasn’t exactly prime rib, and this sequel is reheated Spam. It adds nothing, explains nothing, and exists purely because Stephen King’s name still sold VHS tapes.
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Tone-Deaf Villains – Leather-jacket-wearing greaser demons? In 1996? That’s like making a horror movie today about evil TikTok influencers.
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Acting Choices – Alexis Arquette commits so hard you almost admire it, but the performance belongs in a midnight drag show, not a horror sequel. Michael Gross phones it in like he’s on a long-distance call. And Hilary Swank looks like she’s praying for a talent scout to notice her so she can escape.
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Budget Woes – The effects look cheaper than a haunted house in a strip mall. When your climactic demon ritual looks like a PTA fundraiser, you’ve failed.
The Legacy (If You Can Call It That)
This movie’s biggest claim to fame? That Hilary Swank survived it and went on to win Oscars. That’s it. The rest of the cast faded into TV obscurity, Alexis Arquette became a cult icon for reasons outside this film, and Michael Gross probably begged his agent never to mention it again. Even Stephen King, whose name was slapped onto the VHS box, likely pretended this never existed.
Final Verdict: Sometimes They Shouldn’t Come Back
Sometimes They Come Back… Again is proof that not everything needs a sequel. It’s dull, repetitive, and accidentally funny in all the wrong ways. It’s the horror equivalent of reheating Taco Bell at 3 a.m.—you know it’s going to hurt, but you do it anyway.
