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  • “The Damned” (2013) — Gallows Hill? More Like Shallow Chill

“The Damned” (2013) — Gallows Hill? More Like Shallow Chill

Posted on October 19, 2025 By admin No Comments on “The Damned” (2013) — Gallows Hill? More Like Shallow Chill
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Hell Is Other People. And Also This Movie.

Every so often, a horror movie comes along that’s so bland it feels like the cinematic equivalent of cold oatmeal — mushy, gray, and technically edible but spiritually repulsive. The Damned (a.k.a. Gallows Hill) is that movie.

Directed by Víctor García — the man who’s never met a horror cliché he didn’t want to adopt and raise as his own — this supernatural slog tries to combine family drama, possession, and Colombian folklore. Instead, it produces something resembling a haunted Hallmark movie filmed inside a fog machine.

If you’ve ever wanted to watch a group of white people slowly die from their own bad decisions in South America, this is your Super Bowl.


The Setup: Family Vacation From Hell

Peter Facinelli (yes, that Facinelli, of Twilight “Dad Vampire” fame) stars as David, an American photographer who takes his fiancée Lauren (Sophia Myles) to Colombia to convince his moody teenage daughter Jill (Nathalia Ramos) to come home for his wedding. Because what teenager doesn’t love being dragged away from her life for a destination guilt trip?

Joining the fun are Gina (Carolina Guerra), David’s former sister-in-law, her cameraman boyfriend Ramón, and the ghost of poor decision-making. After ignoring multiple warnings from a local police captain who literally says, “Don’t go there, the roads are flooded,” they proceed to do exactly that — because no one in a horror movie has ever seen a horror movie.

They crash the car, break some ribs, and stumble upon an isolated inn run by an old man named Felipe. He immediately tells them to leave, which means they obviously stay. The only thing missing is a neon sign flashing BAD IDEA ALERT.


The Basement, The Box, and The Boredom

Inside the inn, Jill and Ramón start wandering around (because that always ends well) and find a mysterious locked box in the basement. Naturally, they open it — because curiosity killed not only the cat, but also the plot pacing. Inside is Ana Maria, a creepy girl who looks like she’s been living off of dust and jump scares.

Felipe storms in with a rifle, screams that she’s dangerous, and promptly gets knocked out by David, proving that Americans abroad are the true menace. When Ana Maria starts muttering weird things and making threats, Felipe wakes up long enough to declare, “We are all going to die!” before conveniently dying himself.

This should be the point where the movie ramps up in terror. Instead, it just starts looping. Characters take turns fainting, screaming, and walking into different rooms, like someone accidentally hit “repeat” on the script.


The Bruja Reveal: Witch, Please

When Captain Morales (Juan Pablo Gamboa) arrives, he explains that Ana Maria is actually a bruja — a witch who jumps from body to body by possessing whoever kills her last host. In other words, she’s a demonic game of tag.

It’s not a bad concept. Unfortunately, The Damned treats it with all the tension of a mildly spooky telenovela. Every possession scene follows the same formula: someone yells, someone bleeds, someone makes an overwrought confession about their personal trauma, and then someone else kills them, letting the witch upgrade hosts like a demonic Pokémon.

By the time the spirit jumps from Ana Maria to Gina to Ramón to Lauren, you stop caring who’s possessed and start wishing you were — at least then you’d be doing something interesting.


The Cast: Crying, Screaming, and Staring Blankly

Let’s talk about the acting.

  • Peter Facinelli tries to sell David’s anguish as a grieving father, but mostly looks like he’s regretting firing his agent. His emotional range here goes from “concerned dad in a car insurance ad” to “guy who just remembered he left the oven on.”

  • Sophia Myles spends most of the film looking like she’s waiting for her paycheck. Even when possessed, she’s about as menacing as an undercooked pancake.

  • Nathalia Ramos as Jill alternates between “bratty teen” and “bored hostage,” which might actually be the most realistic part of the movie.

  • Carolina Guerra’s Gina at least tries to inject some energy, but once she gets possessed, she mostly just whispers threats like she’s reading them off a yoga app.

There’s also Ramón, the cameraman with the charisma of wet drywall. He’s revealed to be a serial killer halfway through, a twist so random it feels like it was added after someone found an extra paragraph in the margins of the script.


The Horror: Possession Fatigue

There’s nothing scarier than a horror movie that refuses to be scary. The Damned takes a potentially interesting setup — a cursed inn, a witch trapped for 40 years, a storm trapping everyone inside — and manages to make it feel like a low-energy escape room.

The film’s scares rely heavily on jump cuts, loud sound effects, and the occasional possessed glare. The problem is that none of it lands. When Ana Maria’s eyes glow red or someone levitates, it looks like it was rendered on a 2008 laptop. Even the storm outside seems bored, occasionally thundering as if to remind us it still exists.

The possession scenes are particularly bad — everyone just goes wide-eyed, tilts their head slightly, and starts hissing vague threats like “I know your secrets.” Ooh, chilling. My dentist said the same thing once.


The Family Drama: Soap Opera of the Damned

At the heart of The Damned is supposed to be a story about guilt and family reconciliation. David still feels guilty about turning off his late wife’s life support (which the witch uses against him), Jill resents her father for moving on, and Lauren just wants to survive long enough to get married.

But instead of emotional depth, we get melodrama that would make Days of Our Lives blush. Every confession feels forced, every tear feels fake, and every scream feels like the director shouting “We need more emotion!” right before calling for another take.

By the time the witch starts revealing everyone’s dirty secrets — “You had an abortion!” “You’re a killer!” “You unplugged your wife!” — the whole thing feels like Maury Povich: Exorcism Edition.


The Ending: The Devil Wears Dad Issues

In the final act, Lauren dies, the witch bounces around like a demonic pinball, and Jill ends up possessed. David’s big heroic act? Locking his daughter in the same box that started this whole mess. Nothing says “I love you” like trapping your only child in an antique coffin.

The credits roll, leaving us with more questions than scares:

  • Why did this family ignore every warning sign?

  • Why did anyone trust a stranger named “Felipe with the basement box”?

  • And why, dear God, is the movie called The Damned when the only thing truly cursed is the viewer?


Final Thoughts: Witch Better Have My Script

Víctor García has made a career out of directing horror sequels and knockoffs (Hellraiser: Revelations, Return to House on Haunted Hill), and The Damned feels like a greatest hits of his least inspired ideas. It’s as if he dumped a blender full of tropes — angry ghosts, family secrets, exorcisms, foreign settings — hit “purée,” and served it cold.

Even IFC Midnight, known for rescuing B-horror films, seems embarrassed by this one.

It’s not offensively bad; it’s just painfully mediocre. Like being haunted by an accountant — it’s slow, predictable, and you can see the ending coming from a mile away.


Final Verdict

★☆☆☆☆ — One star out of five

The Damned is proof that hell isn’t fire and brimstone — it’s 87 minutes of dull exposition, recycled scares, and actors pretending they understand the script. It’s the cinematic equivalent of finding a dusty VHS labeled “Do Not Open” — and opening it anyway.

If you’re looking for possession horror that’s genuinely terrifying, watch The Exorcist. If you’re looking for a movie that makes you question your life choices, The Damned has you covered.

Just remember to bring holy water — and maybe some caffeine. You’ll need both.


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