If Ed Wood had grown up in São Paulo with a side gig at a reptile farm, he might’ve made This Night I’ll Possess Your Corpse. It’s the middle entry in Coffin Joe’s infamous trilogy, where everyone’s favorite top-hatted undertaker with the world’s greasiest fingernails once again declares himself a Nietzschean genius while acting like the world’s most unpleasant wedding planner.
The Plot (or, “How to Lose Friends and Snake People”)
Coffin Joe—who insists he must sire the perfect heir because nothing says “superior bloodline” like a village pervert with a beard that looks like it was glued on by a drunk taxidermist—kidnaps six women and throws them into what can only be described as the worst Fear Factor episode ever filmed. His test? Endure his “trials,” which mostly involve snakes, yelling, and pretending he’s Bela Lugosi’s evil cousin.
Five women scream and die; one woman, Marcia, stays calm, proving she’s worthy of being his broodmare. Except when Coffin Joe gets all hot and heavy, she says, “nah, I’m good.” And honestly, who can blame her? Joe’s seduction skills are roughly on par with a wet sock.
From there, the movie drags us through frame-ups, murders, and Coffin Joe’s big nightmare sequence in Hell, which looks like a high school theater production of Dante’s Inferno but with more papier-mâché skeletons and shirtless extras writhing for no paycheck.
The Horror
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Snakes dumped on women. (Joe Exotic would have directed this better.)
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Coffin Joe’s relentless monologues about “the continuity of blood.” Honestly, the snakes are less slimy.
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The Hell sequence, which tries for Bosch and lands on “local haunted house ride with a $12 budget.”
The Performances
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José Mojica Marins (Coffin Joe): Looks like a villain from a Halloween costume shop ad, but with the confidence of a man who’s sure he’s playing Hamlet.
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Bruno the hunchbacked assistant: The kind of loyal servant who helps his boss kidnap women but still somehow manages to look embarrassed about it.
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The Victims: Mostly scream, flail, and wonder how their agent talked them into this.
Why It’s a Mess (Even By Coffin Joe Standards)
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The snakes deserve better direction. At one point, they seem genuinely confused about what movie they’re in.
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Coffin Joe’s philosophy is just Nietzsche copy-pasted into bad pick-up lines. “Only the fearless woman can bear my son!” Yeah, okay, buddy—try Bumble.
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The ending was literally censored so Coffin Joe repents to God, which is like Dracula converting to veganism in the last reel. Even Marins thought it was stupid.
Final Verdict
This Night I’ll Possess Your Corpse is sleazy, mean-spirited, and somehow boring despite having snake pits, hunchbacks, and Hell itself. Coffin Joe may be the self-proclaimed prophet of a new world, but here he’s just a sweaty man in a cape shouting about bloodlines while Brazil’s censors force-feed us a sermon.
It’s called This Night I’ll Possess Your Corpse, but the only thing it possessed was 108 minutes of my life I’ll never get back.
Final Thought: If you ever needed proof that snakes make better actors than people, this movie is Exhibit A.
