When Immortality Meets Flatmate Drama
Vampires have haunted cinema for over a century — brooding, seductive, tragic creatures cursed with eternal life and the wardrobe of a Hot Topic manager. But never before has the undead lifestyle looked so… awkwardly domestic.
Jemaine Clement and Taika Waititi’s What We Do in the Shadows is the mockumentary that dares to ask: what if vampires weren’t terrifying lords of darkness, but petty, neurotic roommates struggling to do the dishes? The result is a glorious cocktail of blood, wit, and flatmate politics that proves immortality is no match for unpaid rent.
It’s The Real World: Transylvania Edition — except everyone’s pale, everyone’s weird, and the only thing that sucks harder than the vampires is their Wi-Fi signal.
The Plot: Creatures of the Night, Masters of Awkwardness
The film follows a documentary crew embedded with four vampires sharing a flat in Wellington, New Zealand. Yes, even creatures of the night have to deal with lease agreements.
Viago (Taika Waititi) is the fastidious dandy, a 17th-century gentleman who insists on wearing frilly shirts and laying down newspaper before he eats his victims — because even undead elegance has standards. Vladislav (Jemaine Clement) is an 800-year-old tyrant once known as “Vladislav the Poker,” who now spends his nights brooding over his ex, “The Beast,” like an emo Dracula. Deacon (Jonathan Brugh) is the self-proclaimed “cool vampire,” which is roughly equivalent to being the “fun uncle” at a funeral. And Petyr (Ben Fransham), their 8,000-year-old crypt-dwelling roommate, resembles Nosferatu after a bad acid trip and lives in the basement like a feral cat that bites.
Their undead existence involves the usual routines — feeding on virgins, bickering about chores, and trying to get into nightclubs despite the “no vampires” policy. (“We have to be invited in,” Viago sighs, as they hover outside a bouncer’s velvet rope like goth teens waiting for a ride home.)
Things get complicated when their familiar, Jackie (Jackie van Beek), lures two unsuspecting humans to the flat for dinner. One of them, Nick, survives — or rather, unsurvives — after Petyr decides to turn him into a vampire. Suddenly, the group’s eternal routine gets an unwanted dose of millennial energy, as Nick introduces them to modern technology and new dangers.
The Eternal Struggle: Vampires vs. Flat Chores
What makes What We Do in the Shadows genius isn’t its special effects (though they’re surprisingly sharp for a $1.6 million budget), but its commitment to the banality of the undead life. These vampires may live forever, but they still have to hold house meetings.
One of the film’s greatest scenes involves the flatmates arguing over dirty dishes. Viago, the house’s self-appointed mom, sighs as he points out Deacon’s century-old blood crust. “You know, when you don’t clean up after yourself, people notice.” It’s both horrifying and deeply relatable — like every roommate fight in history, just with more corpses.
And yet, behind the absurdity, the film nails the pathos of eternal existence. The vampires’ centuries of bickering hide real loneliness. Viago still pines for a mortal woman he lost decades ago. Vladislav’s confidence masks heartbreak. Deacon clings to rebellion because he has nothing else left to cling to. They’re not monsters; they’re aging hipsters afraid to admit that time has passed them by.
The New Blood: Nick and Stu
Nick (Cori Gonzalez-Macuer), the newly minted vampire, brings chaos and youth — the undead equivalent of a guy who just got his first leather jacket and won’t stop talking about it. He name-drops his vampirism at bars (“I’m literally a vampire”) and gets the group kicked out of feeding spots faster than you can say garlic.
His human friend Stu (Stu Rutherford) steals every scene he’s in, mostly by doing nothing. He’s a mild-mannered IT guy who quietly introduces the vampires to the internet. Watching Viago discover Google is pure joy — centuries of murder and mysticism undone by cat videos and online dating. “I just poked someone on Facebook!” he beams, with the enthusiasm of a child and the pallor of a corpse.
Stu becomes the film’s unexpected heart (and occasional snack). When the group introduces him to other supernatural creatures — zombies, witches, and a surprisingly polite werewolf pack — he just nods politely, as if this were all part of an average Tuesday in Wellington.
The Unholy Masquerade: Twilight’s Evil Twin
Everything builds to the Unholy Masquerade, an annual party for vampires and other supernatural beings. It’s a combination of gothic prom and middle-management mixer. Vladislav refuses to attend when he learns his ex, “The Beast,” is the guest of honor. (You know it’s bad when even a centuries-old tyrant can’t handle seeing his ex with her new boyfriend.)
At the ball, things quickly devolve into chaos. The vampires bring along Stu, who is promptly discovered to be human, prompting a room full of bloodsuckers to debate whether to eat him or just scold him for not wearing a costume. The ensuing melee — complete with flagpole impalements and awkward apologies — is equal parts horror and farce.
And just when you think things couldn’t get more absurd, the vampires flee into the night and stumble upon their rivals — a pack of werewolves who curse like sailors but still stop to tie themselves to trees. “We’re werewolves, not swear-wolves,” their leader (Rhys Darby) insists, in what might be the greatest line delivery in monster movie history.
Love Bites and Other Small Miracles
Despite all the silliness, What We Do in the Shadows sneaks in genuine sweetness. Viago finally finds his long-lost love, Katherine, now elderly and mortal. Their reunion is awkward, touching, and just the right amount of creepy. “I’m 96, you know,” she says. “Well,” Viago replies tenderly, “you look great for a 96-year-old.” Later, he turns her into a vampire so they can share eternity — the only healthy relationship in cinematic vampire history.
Meanwhile, Vladislav gets back together with “The Beast,” proving that even centuries of torment can’t fix your taste in partners. And Deacon learns to grudgingly tolerate Nick, which in vampire terms counts as personal growth.
The Filmmakers: Deadpan and Loving It
Taika Waititi and Jemaine Clement are masters of tone. Their mockumentary style is so deadpan it feels like The Officedirected by Bela Lugosi. Every supernatural reveal is treated like mundane bureaucracy. When the police arrive to investigate a disturbance, Viago hypnotizes them into ignoring the dismembered corpses — leading to a painfully funny scene where the officers politely note the lack of smoke alarms.
The humor works because the film never winks at the audience. These vampires take their eternal squabbles seriously, and that’s exactly why it’s so funny.
Eternal Night, Eternal Laughs
What We Do in the Shadows is one of those rare comedies that manages to be both absurd and affectionate. It skewers vampire mythology with loving precision — from the awkward feeding rituals to the tragic melodrama of ancient grudges — but it also makes you care about these ridiculous, blood-sucking oddballs.
It’s a film about friendship, aging, and the eternal struggle to find your place in a world that’s moved on without you — even if that world runs on daylight.
Final Verdict
★★★★★ — Five Bloody Toasts out of Five
Taika Waititi and Jemaine Clement deliver a masterpiece of undead mockery — a film that turns centuries of gothic horror into one long, hilarious flatshare squabble.
What We Do in the Shadows is the rare vampire film that doesn’t drain your soul but tickles it. It’s stylish, smart, and as delightfully weird as a bat wearing Crocs.
So pour yourself a glass of Type O-negative, dim the lights, and remember: immortality might be eternal, but rent is still due on the first of the month.
