Directed by Penelope Spheeris | Starring Jim Varney, Cloris Leachman, Erika Eleniak, and Diedrich Bader’s hair If you’ve ever thought, “What this world really needs is a big-screen adaptation of a 1960s sitcom about rural yokels hitting the oil jackpot,” then congratulations—you are the exact person this movie was made for. The rest of us? … Read More “The Beverly Hillbillies (1993): Clampetts Go Hollywood… and the Rest of Us Suffer” »
Directed by Nick Castle | Starring Walter Matthau, Mason Gamble, and the faint ghost of your patience If you’ve ever wondered what it would feel like to watch a 95-minute hostage situation where an elderly man is psychologically tormented by a bleach-blonde goblin child while Christopher Lloyd lurks in the bushes like a homeless Nosferatu, … Read More “Dennis the Menace (1993): A Crime Scene Disguised as Family Entertainment” »
Directed by Howard Deutch | Starring Ray Liotta, Kiefer Sutherland, and a whole lotta surgical smirking Some movies are underappreciated gems. Others are earnest misfires. Article 99 is that rare beast that feels like a made-for-TV pilot someone accidentally fed steroids to and then left in a VA hospital breakroom next to a vending machine … Read More “Article 99 (1992): Bureaucracy, Bedpans, and a Plot That Flatlines” »
Directed by Robert Zemeckis | Starring Michael J. Fox, Christopher Lloyd, and Mary Steenburgen’s wobbly affections So here we are. The third and final chapter of the Back to the Future trilogy. The DeLorean is rusting, the time circuits are glitching, and the jokes are older than Doc Brown’s liver spots. Back to the Future … Read More “Back to the Future Part III (1990): Doc Brown Goes West, and the Franchise Rides Into a Ditch” »
Directed by Robert Zemeckis | Starring Michael J. Fox, Christopher Lloyd, and a plot held together with chewing gum and Pepsi product placement Ah, Back to the Future Part II—the cinematic equivalent of taking acid in a Spencer’s Gifts. This movie had the unenviable job of following a near-perfect original and decided, boldly, to answer … Read More “Back to the Future Part II (1989): Time Travel, Trump Biff, and Tired Sequels” »
Season 1, Episode 4 | Directed by Howard Deutch | Starring Lea Thompson, Brett Cullen, and a lot of lipstick Welcome to the Crypt, where morals are twisted, endings are mean, and every story feels like a back-alley Twilight Zone with a hangover. In the fourth episode of Tales from the Crypt’s debut season—“Only Sin … Read More “Tales from the Crypt – “Only Sin Deep” (1989): Beauty Fades, Bad Acting Is Forever” »
Directed by Jenny Bowen | Starring Lukas Haas, Lea Thompson, Dylan Baker, and a whole lot of staring into space If The Wizard of Loneliness sounds like a Harry Potter prequel written by Sylvia Plath, you’re already in the right headspace. This 1988 film, adapted from a novel that probably made high school students hate … Read More “The Wizard of Loneliness (1988): A Moody, Brooding, Coming-of-Boredom Tale” »
Directed by Geneviève Robert | Starring Lea Thompson, Victoria Jackson, and a beach full of STD metaphors If you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to trap two sitcom side characters inside a 90-minute PSA about herpes with a laugh track, Casual Sex? is here to answer that question—and then keep awkwardly answering it … Read More “Casual Sex? (1988): All the Awkward, None of the Orgasm” »
Directed by Howard Deutch | Written by John Hughes | Starring Eric Stoltz, Mary Stuart Masterson, Lea Thompson, and a pair of diamond earrings more emotionally grounded than half the cast Some Kind of Wonderful is the dark horse of the John Hughes Brat Pack canon—the one that trades country clubs and cheerleaders for garages, … Read More “Some Kind of Wonderful (1987): John Hughes Goes Emo and the Earrings Save the Day” »
Directed by Willard Huyck | Produced by George Lucas | Starring Lea Thompson, Tim Robbins, Jeffrey Jones, and a wisecracking duck in a bathrobe Some movies are masterpieces. Some are disasters. And then there’s Howard the Duck, a film that crash-landed somewhere between cult classic and career-ending PR crisis. It waddled into theaters in 1986 … Read More “Howard the Duck (1986): Fowl Play in Cleveland—So Bad It’s Quackingly Watchable” »
