Directed by Geneviève Robert | Starring Lea Thompson, Victoria Jackson, and a beach full of STD metaphors
If you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to trap two sitcom side characters inside a 90-minute PSA about herpes with a laugh track, Casual Sex? is here to answer that question—and then keep awkwardly answering it long after you’ve stopped caring.
Released in 1988 and already dated by the time it hit theaters, this alleged sex comedy tries to surf the post-sexual revolution, pre-AIDS-awareness wave with all the grace of a life coach on roller skates. It’s the kind of film that thinks saying the word “penis” loudly in a spa makes you edgy, when in fact it just makes the audience deeply uncomfortable and nostalgic for the subtleties of Police Academy 3.
Spoiler alert: the answer to Casual Sex? is no. Just… no.
Lea Thompson: She Deserved a Better Vacation
Lea Thompson, a charming actress who survived incestuous flirting in Back to the Future and a duck with boundary issues in Howard the Duck, plays Stacey—an exhausted single woman who’s tired of one-night stands, casual hookups, and men who lie about being in a band.
So, naturally, she decides the best way to cure her emotional burnout is to go to a health spa with her best friend and hope the universe hands her a decent guy. What could go wrong?
Thompson spends most of the movie looking mildly annoyed, wandering through therapy sessions, jazzercise classes, and awkward encounters with men who are either cartoonishly creepy or biologically incapable of forming complete sentences. It’s not a performance so much as a hostage situation wrapped in leg warmers.
Victoria Jackson: Deadpan and Possibly Sedated
Victoria Jackson plays Melissa, Stacey’s best friend and co-conspirator in this misguided sex sabbatical. She’s meant to be the shy, sexually reserved one, which in this movie means she giggles like she just inhaled helium and reacts to male attention like a deer at a rave.
Jackson, best known from SNL (and unfortunately now Twitter), is about as expressive as a damp hand towel in this film. Her delivery is flatter than a diet soda from 1985, and the chemistry between her and Thompson is less “dynamic duo” and more “two strangers trapped in a tampon commercial.”
Her idea of seduction is wearing a cardigan and not sneezing during conversation. Riveting stuff.
The Spa: Ground Zero for Unwanted Touching and Sweaty Dialogue
The health spa, which should’ve been a fun, sexy playground for mistaken identities and steamy romance, ends up looking like a Holiday Inn for sex offenders and sad men in speedos. Every male character feels like they wandered in from an off-brand Bachelor in Paradise spinoff that got canceled during rehearsals.
There’s massage therapy. There’s emotional counseling. There’s aerobic sex metaphors. It’s like someone took a copy of Cosmopolitan, microwaved it, and called it a screenplay.
The movie wants us to believe this is where our heroines will find love, healing, and purpose. Instead, it feels like a place where STDs get stronger and dreams go to sunburn.
The Men: Casually Terrible
The romantic prospects in Casual Sex? range from “used car salesman with commitment issues” to “guy who thinks foreplay is telling you about his Porsche.” Among them:
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Vic (Jerry Levine): A walking supply of hair gel and pick-up lines, who thinks honesty is something you do after the third date.
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Vincent (Peter Horton): The Sensitive Guy™ with a tragic backstory, which means he’s eligible to cry and get laid in the same scene.
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Jamie (Andrew Dice Clay): Yes, that Andrew Dice Clay, in his soft-talking, cigar-chomping “ladies’ man” era. He plays a surprisingly gentle club bouncer, which is weird, but only because it works better than anything else in the movie.
All these men represent different flavors of disappointment, from mildly patronizing to full-blown creepypasta.
The Comedy: Laugh-Free Zone Ahead
Despite being billed as a romantic comedy, Casual Sex? is light on romance and criminally negligent on the comedy. The jokes don’t land—they fall, hit their heads on the floor, and sue the script for negligence.
You’ll get endless scenes of women overanalyzing men, men underanalyzing everything, and punchlines that are less funny and more “oh, that was supposed to be a joke.”
There’s a ton of voiceover narration that tries to tie things together but mostly serves as a reminder that we’re stuck inside Stacey’s inner monologue and she’s just as bored as we are.
The Sex: More Shrug Than Sizzle
You’d think a movie with “Sex” in the title would bring at least some heat. Alas, Casual Sex? is about as erotic as a tax seminar. The film tiptoes around actual sex scenes like it’s afraid of offending your grandmother.
We’re treated to endless setups that lead nowhere—awkward kisses, half-hearted groping, and montages that suggest something sexy might’ve happened, but it probably just involved granola bars and crying.
The film’s idea of sexual liberation is deciding not to sleep with someone, which is fine—but maybe don’t name your movie after the thing you’re actively avoiding.
Final Verdict: Casual Sex? Serious Regret.
Casual Sex? is a relic of the late ’80s, when boomers were grappling with the consequences of the sexual revolution and trying to make peace with their self-help tapes. It had potential: two women re-evaluating their desires, wants, and personal growth in the age of one-night stands and meaningless hookups? That could’ve worked.
But instead of insight or bold comedy, we get a tepid misfire full of limp one-liners, clumsy pacing, and characters who feel like they were designed by committee, then abandoned halfway through their therapy sessions.
Rating: 3/10 — Skip the spa, keep the earrings, and remember: sometimes abstinence is the best way to avoid a bad movie.
