There are classy gialli, there are trashy gialli, and then there’s Eyeball, which cheerfully parks itself somewhere in the middle with a grin, a red raincoat, and a pocket full of plucked optic nerves. Umberto Lenzi’s Barcelona-set slaughterfest is many things—sleazy, silly, wildly implausible—but it is almost never boring. It’s the slasher equivalent of a … Read More “Eyeball, 1975 – sunshine, tourism, and eyeballs” »
“Crazy Fat Ethel” and the Joke’s on Us Criminally Insane is one of those movies that thinks being mean-spirited automatically makes it edgy. It doesn’t. It just makes it a slog. Sold under the alternate title Crazy Fat Ethel, this 61-minute “horror” film manages to feel twice as long, which is honestly its most impressive … Read More “Criminally Insane, 1975 – boredom, grease, and corpses” »
There are gialli that seduce you with dream logic, some that clobber you with over-the-top sleaze, and then there’s The Case of the Scorpion’s Tail, which cheerfully asks: “What if Columbo drank too much Campari and vacationed in Athens?” Directed by Sergio Martino at the height of his powers, this is a jet-set murder mystery … Read More “The Case of the Scorpion’s Tail, 1971 – sun-drenched murders for money” »
Theater of pain… and boredom There are bad movies, there are offensive movies, and then there’s Blood Sucking Freaks, which somehow manages to be both and still mind-numbingly dull. It’s an exploitation splatter flick about a human trafficking ring posing as an experimental theater troupe in New York, staging “Grand Guignol” shows that are secretly … Read More “Blood Sucking Freaks, 1976 – torture porn masquerading as comedy” »
Family Vacation, But Make It Terminal “Z-Mom” is what happens when someone watches Train to Busan, skims a couple of corporate-evil plotlines, and decides the real missing ingredient in zombie cinema is more melodrama and less originality. It’s a Cambodian drama zombie film about a mother protecting her family from an outbreak on a secluded … Read More “Z-Mom, 2024 – zombies, tears, and clichés” »
Opening Hand: Horror by Horoscope “Tarot” is the kind of supernatural horror movie that feels like it was generated by an algorithm that only knows three things: college students, cursed object, and “died one by one.” Based on the 1992 novel Horrorscope, it tosses a group of attractive undergrads into a rented Catskills mansion, hands … Read More “Tarot, 2024 – Death card for braincells” »
Found footage finally discovers Wi-Fi “Strange Frequencies: Taiwan Killer Hospital” takes the very tired bones of found-footage horror and shoves a ring light in their face. It’s a Filipino riff on Gonjiam: Haunted Asylum, but instead of just copying jumpscares beat-for-beat, it weaponizes something way scarier than any demon: content culture. A bunch of influencers … Read More “Strange Frequencies: Taiwan Killer Hospital, 2024 – viciously fun viral nightmare” »
Love, Death, and Mild Inconvenience “The Sleeping Woman” wants to be a haunting psychological thriller about guilt, desire, and the weight of unresolved trauma. What it actually delivers is a movie about a nurse falling for a guy whose wife is in a vegetative state… and somehow that’s not the most questionable decision involved. It’s … Read More “The Sleeping Woman, 2024 – Slow-burn snooze with ghosts” »
Welcome to a Very Mild Damnation “The Seductress from Hell” arrives with the swagger of an origin story for a new horror icon and the budget of a mid-range used car lot. Written, co-produced, and directed by Andrew de Burgh, this Los Angeles–set horror thriller promises a descent into madness and satanic revenge, then mostly … Read More “The Seductress from Hell A demonic revenge fantasy where the scariest thing is the runtime.” »
There are many kinds of horror.Jump scares.Atmospheric dread.The existential terror of opening your bank app after a night out. And then there’s accidental horror — the kind you get after waiting five years for a new Stephen King adaptation only to discover that the scariest thing in the movie is the release schedule. Enter Gary … Read More ““’Salem’s Lot” (2024): A Vampire Movie So Lifeless Even the Undead Want a Refund” »