The Call Is Coming from Inside the Space Station If you’ve ever wondered what Alien would look like if it were directed by an overachieving biology major with a flair for nihilism and a fondness for Jake Gyllenhaal’s bone structure, congratulations — you’ve found your answer in Life (2017). Directed by Daniel Espinosa and written … Read More ““Life” — Space, Slime, and the Most Polite Apocalypse Ever” »
The Afterlife Has Good Taste Once in a while, a horror movie sneaks up on you — not to slash, not to scream, but to whisper “boo” softly in your ear while handing you a box of tissues. The Keeping Hours (2017) is that kind of film: a supernatural drama dressed in ghost-story clothing, equal … Read More ““The Keeping Hours” — Ghosts, Guilt, and the Afterlife of Marriage” »
You’ll Never Believe What Crawled Out of the Editing Bay There are movies that age poorly, and then there’s Jeepers Creepers 3 — a sequel so unwanted, so profoundly confused, it feels like the cinematic equivalent of a zombie you forgot to decapitate. Released in 2017, sixteen years after the original, Victor Salva’s long-dormant franchise … Read More ““Jeepers Creepers 3” — The Movie That Should’ve Stayed Buried With the Creeper” »
Attack of the Killer Ants (and the Script) There’s a special place in cinematic purgatory for movies that manage to be both a homage and a warning. It Came From the Desert (2017) is one such film — an 87-minute exercise in what happens when nostalgia, low budget, and Finnish enthusiasm collide in the desert … Read More ““It Came From the Desert” — And It Should’ve Stayed There” »
Scream, but Make It Soft Serve There are bad movies. There are so-bad-they’re-good movies. And then there’s The Ice Cream Truck (2017), a horror-comedy that somehow manages to be neither horrifying nor comedic, unless you count the part where you realize you paid money to watch it. Written and directed by Megan Freels Johnston — … Read More ““The Ice Cream Truck” — A Melting Mess of Suburban Horror” »
A House of Horrors with No Plumbing (or Plot) There’s a certain bravery in making a sequel to a found-footage horror movie that already looked like it was filmed on a potato. The Houses October Built 2 (2017) is that kind of brave — the cinematic equivalent of sticking your hand back into the blender … Read More ““The Houses October Built 2” — When the Real Horror Is the Sequel Itself” »
Love, Death, and the Open Water Every marriage has its monsters. Some couples wrestle with jealousy. Others with communication. But in House by the Lake (2017), directed by Adam Gierasch, the monster has scales, gills, and a penchant for stealing your daughter. And somehow, it works beautifully. This low-budget psychological horror manages the near-impossible: it … Read More ““House by the Lake” — When Marriage Counseling Meets Aquatic Horror” »
Death Never Looked So Adorable If Groundhog Day and Scream had a baby while Mean Girls served as the sarcastic godmother, that baby would be Happy Death Day. Directed by Christopher Landon and written by Scott Lobdell, this 2017 black comedy slasher turns murder into self-improvement — because nothing builds character like dying forty times … Read More ““Happy Death Day” — A Slasher That Hugs You Before Stabbing You” »
Chapter One: Murders in Dikanka (And in Pacing) Let’s begin with the crime scene: Gogol. Origins (2017), a movie so convinced of its own genius that it mistakes every puff of fog for atmosphere and every epileptic seizure for plot development. Directed by Yegor Baranov and starring Alexander Petrov as the titular writer, it’s the … Read More ““Gogol. Origins” — A Horror Film in Search of a Pulse” »
Ah, Ghost Stories – a film that had all the ingredients to be a spooky, spine-tingling, supernatural thrill ride but instead turned out to be like a ghost – dead on arrival. Don’t get me wrong, I love me a good anthology horror film. The promise of creepy ghost stories, mysterious figures, and sinister apparitions … Read More ““Ghost Stories” (2017): The Afterlife of Boring Paranormal Investigations” »