David Cronenberg is known for body horror classics—The Fly, Videodrome, Scanners. By the time eXistenZ rolled around in 1999, it seemed like he’d found the perfect late-’90s subject: the paranoia around video games, virtual reality, and the line between real and fake. Instead, what we got is a film that looks like it was written on Ambien, directed in a fever dream, and designed by a horny gastroenterologist.
It’s The Matrix’s awkward Canadian cousin: fewer kung-fu fights, more gooey USB ports in people’s spines.
The Plot: Sorry, What?
Jennifer Jason Leigh plays Allegra Geller, a game designer showing off her new VR game, eXistenZ. Except the game is accessed not with a headset, but by plugging a fleshy cord into your surgically installed “bio-port.” Yes, you have to get a butthole-for-your-back installed so you can jack into goo pods that look like they were made out of roadkill and bubblegum.
During the demo, a fanatic (with all the stealth of a community theater actor) tries to assassinate Allegra using a “bone gun” that fires teeth instead of bullets. Because sure, why not. She flees with Jude Law, who plays Ted Pikul—a marketing flack who’s never played a video game and seems deeply distressed that his future spine-anus isn’t ready for action.
From there, they spend the rest of the movie running around from assassin to assassin, getting plugged and unplugged from multiple layers of VR, until the audience gives up trying to figure out whether anything matters. Spoiler: it doesn’t.
Jennifer Jason Leigh: Game Designer or Deadpan Robot?
Leigh is a great actress, but here she plays Allegra with the energy of someone who accidentally swallowed half a bottle of NyQuil. She whispers every line as if she’s trying not to wake a sleeping roommate. Allegra is supposed to be brilliant, eccentric, and maybe unhinged. Instead, she comes across like she’s perpetually bored—even when she’s licking Jude Law’s bio-port.
And yes, there are multiple scenes where she fondles Jude Law’s fleshy spine-hole like she’s trying to start a stubborn lawnmower. This is supposed to be erotic. It looks like two raccoons trying to open a jar of mayonnaise.
Jude Law: The Whiny Sidekick
Ted Pikul (Law) is the designated audience surrogate—the guy who asks all the dumb questions so Cronenberg can vomit exposition at us. But instead of being curious or clever, he just whines. Constantly. He doesn’t want a bio-port, he doesn’t want to play the game, he doesn’t want to eat weird food. He’s basically that friend who gets dragged to Comic-Con and spends the whole weekend complaining.
By the time he finally grows a backbone (pun very much intended), it’s too late. You’re already rooting for the bone gun to put him out of his misery.
The Supporting Cast: Wasted Talent Soup
Cronenberg stacked the cast with incredible talent: Ian Holm, Willem Dafoe, Sarah Polley, Christopher Eccleston. And he wastes them all.
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Willem Dafoe plays a gas station attendant named Gas (subtle). He installs Jude Law’s bio-port, makes a few sinister comments, then dies almost instantly. It’s like Cronenberg had him for one afternoon and decided to pay him in slime.
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Ian Holm pops in as a mentor, mutters a few lines about diseased pods, and exits.
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Christopher Eccleston shows up just long enough to remind you he exists.
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Sarah Polley is here because… honestly, I don’t know.
It’s like watching an Avengers movie where every hero dies five minutes after their intro scene.
The Body Horror: Moist for No Reason
Cronenberg loves body horror, but eXistenZ goes all-in on gooey, fleshy, wet design choices that make you less scared and more grossed out. The game pods look like skinned guinea pigs with nipples. The bio-ports look like second buttholes. The UmbiCords look like umbilical cords crossed with sex toys.
At one point, Jude Law eats a disgusting plate of Chinese food, assembles the bones into a pistol, and shoots a waiter. It’s meant to be surreal. It looks like an Iron Chef blooper reel.
There’s a difference between disturbing and just plain stupid. Videodrome had body horror that said something about media consumption. The Fly had tragedy baked into its gore. eXistenZ just has Jennifer Jason Leigh playing with Jude Law’s spine-anus like she lost a bet.
The “Twist”: All a Game, Baby
After 90 minutes of goo pods, betrayals, and random shootouts, the big reveal is that none of it mattered—it was all part of another VR game, transCendenZ. Everything we watched was just people beta testing a game inside a game. It’s like Inception without the cleverness, or The Matrix without the budget.
This “gotcha” ending doesn’t blow your mind—it makes you want a refund. You sat through an hour and a half of Jude Law whining and Jennifer Jason Leigh mumbling for nothing. And just when you think it’s over, they pull out guns (again) and kill their game designer (again). And then the movie just… ends. No resolution, no clarity. Just the sinking feeling you should’ve rented The 13th Floor instead.
The Themes: Half-Baked Philosophy 101
Cronenberg wants to talk about reality, identity, the danger of immersive technology. But instead of saying anything, he just has characters whisper vague nonsense like, “Are we still in the game?” and “The game is infected.”
There’s no real exploration, just a bunch of characters repeating “game” like it’s a drinking game word. The whole thing feels less like a meditation on technology and more like listening to your stoned roommate explain The Sims at 3 a.m.
Dark Humor Highlights
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The bone gun. Nothing says “terrifying weapon” like something that looks like it came from a craft store’s Halloween clearance aisle.
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The constant bio-port fondling. Watching Jennifer Jason Leigh finger Jude Law’s spine-hole is less erotic than watching someone try to charge their iPhone with the wrong cable.
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Willem Dafoe showing up, announcing “I’m Gas,” and dying five minutes later. Thanks for nothing, Willem.
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The Chinese restaurant scene. Watching Jude Law build a gun out of spare ribs is less disturbing than it is a strong case for banning food-based arts and crafts.
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The ending. “Are we still in the game?” Translation: “Are we still in the theater? Why haven’t we left?”
Final Verdict: eXistenZ is excruciating
Cronenberg has made brilliant, disturbing films that blend horror with sharp commentary. eXistenZ is not one of them. It’s damp, it’s confusing, it’s ugly to look at, and it wastes a stacked cast on nonsense. The body horror is gross without purpose, the philosophy is shallow, and the twist makes the whole film irrelevant.
If The Matrix is sleek sci-fi philosophy, eXistenZ is a wet sock left in the corner of the shower.
