Intro: When Love is Blind… and So is the Script
There are romantic comedies that make you believe in love. Then there are ones that make you believe in root canals. Only You is the kind of film that asks you to suspend disbelief, common sense, and your will to live — all in 85 minutes. It wastes a talented cast, fumbles its premise, and meanders through clichés like a drunk at a wedding reception looking for the buffet.
The only thing keeping this from being a total disaster? Kelly Preston. And even she looks like she’s contractually trapped between takes.
Plot (or Lack Thereof): Love, Lies, and Low-Energy Hijinks
The story goes like this: One guy (Andrew McCarthy) meets a woman (Kelly Preston) in a bar. They hit it off. Then he finds out she’s engaged. So naturally, the next step is… deception! McCarthy’s character lies his way into Preston’s life with the kind of flimsy charm you’d expect from a soap opera understudy. What follows is a carousel of awkward encounters, half-hearted romantic tension, and more lies than a bad Tinder profile.
If this was meant to be screwball comedy, someone screwed up the “comedy” part. And the “romantic” part. And possibly the entire script.
Andrew McCarthy: Phoning It In With a Rotary Phone
Andrew McCarthy, fresh off the Brat Pack train, looks less like a romantic lead and more like someone trying to remember where he parked. He plays his role with the charisma of a man on Ambien, lurching through scenes as if someone just handed him the lines five minutes ago. His chemistry with Preston is somewhere between “co-workers who don’t speak” and “people who once saw each other at the DMV.”
The movie hinges on us believing he’s charming enough to win her over despite a nonstop stream of lies. Spoiler alert: He isn’t.
Kelly Preston: Shining in a Dumpster Fire
Preston is easily the brightest thing in this dim flick. She’s gorgeous, grounded, and brings more to her role than the script ever earned. Her character is supposed to be cautious, but falls for McCarthy’s nonsense like a teenager in a CW show. You watch her and think, “She deserves so much better.” Better lines. Better romantic interests. A better movie. At this point, she could’ve flirted with the boom mic operator and had more chemistry.
The Tone: Clueless, Clunky, and Confused
Is this a comedy? A romance? A slow psychological study in gaslighting? The film doesn’t know. The jokes land with a thud. The romantic moments feel forced. It’s like watching someone try to write a Nora Ephron script while stuck in traffic. Every attempt at charm is dragged down by awkward pacing, cheesy music, and scenes that feel like rejected episodes of a bad TV sitcom.
Dark Humor Observation: A Rom-Com Written by a Sociopath
Let’s call it what it is: Only You is a movie about a guy who stalks a woman into falling in love with him. He lies, manipulates, and guilt-trips his way through 90% of the film. In real life, that’s not romance — that’s a restraining order. If this were a horror movie, McCarthy’s character would be sharpening knives in a basement. But in rom-com land, he’s just “charming.” It’s disturbing how often 90s rom-coms tried to rebrand “toxic behavior” as “persistence.”
Missed Opportunities: Preston Deserved Her Own Movie
Here’s the real tragedy: Kelly Preston could’ve carried a better film. Give her a character with ambition, depth, and someone worth her time — boom, you’ve got a hit. Instead, she’s stuck playing second fiddle to a damp loaf of white bread with a receding hairline. It’s a waste of talent and screen time.
Also, for a film titled Only You, it might as well have been called Only Lies. Because that’s all you’re getting.
Final Thoughts: Skip It Unless You’re a Preston Completionist
Unless you’re on a quest to watch every movie Kelly Preston ever made, there’s no real reason to sit through this. It’s not the worst movie you’ll ever see — but it’s not memorable, clever, or even charming in that guilty pleasure way. It’s the cinematic equivalent of stale wedding cake: technically romantic, but mostly just dry and disappointing.
Final Rating: 1.5 out of 5 Doomed Relationships
(+1 for Kelly Preston, +0.5 for mercifully short runtime, -5 for romanticizing stalking)