Ah, The Changeover. The film that manages to take a coming-of-age drama, add a sprinkle of teenage angst, and top it all off with a healthy dose of ancient demon-hunting magic. It’s like Harry Potter and Buffy the Vampire Slayer had a love child who decided to wear a black hoodie and save the world … Read More “Review of The Changeover – When Teen Angst Meets Ancient Demons and Psychic Powers, What Could Go Wrong?” »
If you’ve ever wondered how a film can be so devoid of scares, thrills, and anything remotely interesting, look no further than The Bye Bye Man. The movie is essentially a haunted house with no personality—like if you took the scariest part of an old folk tale, gave it a meaningless name (seriously, The Bye … Read More “Review of The Bye Bye Man – Or: How to Make a Movie So Bad, Even the Ghost Doesn’t Want to Stick Around” »
If you’ve ever thought, “Hey, what’s missing from modern horror films? Oh, I know! A basement with a demonic presence that thrives on lust and arousal. Now THAT’S a story I’m dying to see,” then congratulations, you are the target audience for The Black Room. Directed by Rolfe Kanefsky, this movie serves up the kind … Read More “Review of The Black Room – Where Lust Meets Mediocrity in a Basement” »
Black Butler: Book of the Atlantic (or Black Butler: The Movie of No Real Consequence) is a 2017 animated supernatural disaster film based on the Black Butler manga series, which, for some reason, now involves zombies, a cruise ship, and a cast of characters that seem more suited for a Victorian reality show than anything … Read More “Review of Black Butler: Book of the Atlantic – A Sinking Ship of Nonsense” »
The Basement, a film that feels like a three-hour punishment session from the depths of a Craigslist horror ad, introduces us to a deranged serial killer, Bill Anderson (or as I like to call him, “The Gemini”), who tortures his victims in his basement. It’s a film that tries so hard to be edgy and … Read More “Review of The Basement (2017) – A Film That’ll Make You Glad You Don’t Live in a Basement” »
If you thought the Amityville Horror franchise had explored every inch of its haunted, decrepit floorboards, I’m here to tell you—you were sadly, sadly mistaken. Amityville: Evil Never Dies, also known by its much more tantalizing (read: confusing) title, Amityville Clownhouse, is the kind of movie that makes you wonder if the franchise has turned … Read More “Review of Amityville: Evil Never Dies (2017): A Haunted House of Horror Clichés, Now with Clowns” »
Imagine you’ve just settled into a nice, peaceful evening of horror, only to have it interrupted by a movie that does everything wrong, yet somehow manages to keep you watching. Always Be With You (also known as Naalu Aaru Anju) is like a family reunion gone horribly, horribly wrong—except instead of embarrassing uncles telling bad … Read More “Review of Always Be With You (2017): The Ultimate Family Reunion… From Hell” »
Let’s start by stating the obvious: Against the Night is a horror film so riddled with clichés, plot holes, and questionable decisions, it makes a shaky-cam “found footage” movie feel like Citizen Kane. It’s a ghost hunting romp that never quite figures out what it wants to be—an alien invasion flick, a haunted house mystery, … Read More “Review of Against the Night (2017): A Horror Film With More Gas Than a Haunted Prison” »
So, you’ve decided to watch 465. Congratulations, you’ve officially opened the door to cinematic purgatory. It’s a film that promises to be a thrilling mystery about ghosts, mental illness, and familial conspiracy, but instead delivers a muddled mess of half-baked ideas and poorly executed plot twists that will leave you questioning not just the film, … Read More “465 (2017): A Horror Film That Should Have Stayed In The Editing Room” »
Introduction: It’s a Shark. With Five Heads. Because Why Not? 5-Headed Shark Attack. No, that’s not a typo. It’s the five-headed shark — not four, not three, not just a regular, run-of-the-mill “two-headed” shark. This is a five-headed monster, and it’s coming to eat you. It’s like the Asylum’s Sharknadoseries had an even dumber cousin … Read More “5-Headed Shark Attack: The Sharknado of Marine Biology” »