When the Dead Rise, Even the Mossad Gets a Headache Every country gets the zombie movie it deserves. The Americans gave us consumerist malls and Dawn of the Dead. The British gave us hangovers and Shaun of the Dead. Now Israel gives us Cannon Fodder — a gloriously bloody, politically incorrect, and surprisingly funny entry … Read More “Cannon Fodder (2013): Zombies, Hezbollah, and the Apocalypse According to Israel” »
Cooking Meth, Breaking Time Every so often, a movie sneaks up on you like a drug deal gone right. Blood Punch (2013), directed by Madellaine Paxson, is one of those glorious genre surprises — a sharp, darkly funny horror-thriller that tosses Groundhog Day, Breaking Bad, and Evil Dead II into a blender, spikes it with … Read More “Blood Punch (2013): Meth, Murder, and the Most Fun You’ll Ever Have Dying Repeatedly” »
LSD, CIA, and WTF There are two types of horror films: those that show you the monster, and those that make you wonder if the monster is already inside your head. The Banshee Chapter (2013) somehow manages to do both — and makes you question whether you accidentally dosed yourself with something the CIA cooked … Read More “The Banshee Chapter (2013): Trip Report from the Edge of Reality” »
Chop Till You Drop (From Boredom) Somewhere deep in the American woods, a man with an axe is waiting to kill you. Not because you’ve done anything wrong, but because you had the misfortune of pressing play on Axeman (also known as Axeman at Cutter’s Creek), the 2013 slasher written and directed by Joston Theney. … Read More “Axeman (2013): Lumberjack of Lame” »
Once Upon a Time in a Basement Clearance Bin Every so often, a film comes along that redefines horror. As Night Falls (2013) isn’t one of them. Directed by Joe Davison, this cinematic misfire feels less like a horror movie and more like the world’s longest anti-curfew PSA. Imagine if The Conjuring were directed by … Read More “As Night Falls (2013): The Bedtime Story from Hell” »
Welcome to the Ghost Hunter Job Fair from Hell You’d think a movie about a paranormal TV crew trapped in a haunted prison would at least manage to be spooky.Apparitional (a.k.a. Haunting of Cellblock 11) proves otherwise. Written and directed by Andrew P. Jones, it’s a film that tries to be a gritty supernatural thriller … Read More “Apparitional (2013): Ghosts, Chains, and Poor Career Choices” »
Honeymoon in the Woods — What Could Go Wrong? Ah, newlyweds in a remote cabin. Nothing says “till death do us part” quite like moving deep into the forest, far from cell service, logic, and good decisions. Animosity (2013), written and directed by Brendan Steere, takes this well-worn horror premise and injects it with enough … Read More “Animosity (2013): When Love Dies, but the Forest Keeps Watching” »
Welcome to the Sorority of the Damned — and the Talentless There are movies so bad they’re fun. There are movies so bad they’re cult classics. And then there’s Alpha Girls, a movie so bafflingly inept that it feels like a satanic recruitment video made by people who’ve never attended college—or a film class. Directed … Read More “Alpha Girls (2013): Hell Week Never Ends” »
Bring It On… From the Dead You know a film has ambition when it opens with a cheerleading accident so gory it makes Final Destination look like a gymnastics PSA. All Cheerleaders Die, the 2013 horror-comedy from Lucky McKee and Chris Sivertson, starts with the tragic death of a cheerleader and then gleefully asks: “What … Read More “All Cheerleaders Die (2013): Blood, Pom-Poms, and Perfectly Twisted Spirit” »
Welcome to the Subway of Regret If hell had a metro system, 20 Feet Below: The Darkness Descending would be playing on a loop in the waiting area. Directed by Marc Clebanoff, this film manages to turn an intriguing premise — a documentary filmmaker exploring the dark underbelly of New York’s underground homeless community — … Read More “20 Feet Below: The Darkness Descending (2013): 20 Feet Below the Standard of Decent Cinema” »