Alright, time to break out the scalpel and gloves because we’re slicing into one of the finest, bleakest, and most quietly horrifying films of the 1990s: Kiyoshi Kurosawa’s Cure (1997). This is not your garden-variety slasher, not your dime-store jump-scare factory. No, this one creeps in like a shadow behind your eyes, whispers something you … Read More “Kiyoshi Kurosawa’s Cure (1997)” »
Ah yes, Cube (1997) — Canada’s proud contribution to the world of claustrophobic math-based torture porn, proving once and for all that even in the Great White North, you can still die screaming in a geometry problem. Directed by Vincenzo Natali, it’s a movie where seven strangers wake up in a massive Rubik’s Cube of … Read More “Cube (1997)” »
Anthology horror films are like pizza: even when they’re bad, they’re still kind of fun. Except Campfire Tales, which is less like pizza and more like a gas station microwave burrito that’s been sitting under a heat lamp since the Clinton administration. Sure, it’s technically food, but you’ll regret it by the second bite. This … Read More “Campfire Tales (1997) – When the Horror Is Mostly the Filmmaking” »
Sometimes, sequels are born out of demand. Fans cry for more, studios see dollar signs, and voila—you get Aliens, The Godfather Part II, or Terminator 2. Other times, sequels happen because somebody found an old script in a filing cabinet and thought, “Sure, why not? The USA Network will air anything.” Enter Buried Alive II … Read More “Buried Alive II (1997)” »
Alright, let’s crack open this blood-slicked, incest-soaked disasterpiece: Bleeders (1997), also known as Hemoglobin—a title that sounds like it should be a PSA about iron supplements rather than a horror movie. On paper, it’s based on H.P. Lovecraft’s “The Lurking Fear.” In practice, it’s like Lovecraft got drunk, fell into a vat of molasses, and … Read More “Bleeders (1997)” »
Ah, Anaconda (1997). The movie that proved the Amazon’s deadliest predator isn’t the snake—it’s Jon Voight’s accent. Directed by Luis Llosa and starring Jennifer Lopez, Ice Cube, and a CGI serpent with all the realism of a screensaver, this thing slithered into theaters, devoured $136 million worldwide, and then vomited itself into cult status. On … Read More “Anaconda (1997)” »
By the time Alien Resurrection slimed its way into theaters in 1997, the Alien franchise had been through more trauma than Ellen Ripley herself. The first was a masterpiece of claustrophobic terror, the second was an action-horror war movie, and the third was… well, a bald Sigourney Weaver being sad in a prison full of … Read More “Alien Resurrection (1997) – The Ugly Duckling of the Franchise That Grew Up to Be a Mutant Swan” »
There are bad horror movies, and then there are horror movies so aggressively stupid they feel like an elaborate prank. Aberration (1997), directed by Tim Boxell, belongs in the latter category. It’s a film about a woman, a biologist, and an army of homicidal geckos. Yes, you read that correctly: geckos. Not velociraptors, not mutant … Read More “Aberration (1997)” »
The Witchcraft franchise is the cinematic equivalent of a cockroach: no matter how many times you think it’s dead, it comes crawling back, uglier and more unnecessary than before. By the time we get to Witchcraft VIII: Salem’s Ghost, the series has already spent seven entries shambling around like a drunk uncle at Thanksgiving. But … Read More “Witchcraft VIII: Salem’s Ghost (1996) – The Ghost That Should’ve Stayed Buried” »
Some movies are bad because of budget. Some are bad because of incompetent writing. And then there’s Werewolf (a.k.a. Arizona Werewolf), which is bad because it was apparently filmed in a parallel universe where storytelling, acting, and logic were banished to the Phantom Zone. Directed by Tony Zarrindast, a man who must’ve thought “continuity” was … Read More “Werewolf (1996)” »