Poché Pictures

Some movies are so bad they make you angry. Others are so bad they’re funny. And then there’s The Birds II: Land’s End, a made-for-TV sequel that manages the rare feat of being both dull and insulting to its legendary predecessor. This isn’t just a bad horror movie—it’s cinematic bird poop smeared across Alfred Hitchcock’s … Read More “The Birds II: Land’s End (1994) – When Hitchcock Rolls in His Grave” »

There are bad horror movies, and then there are horror movies that make you wonder if your television has personally offended God. Aswang (also called The Unearthing for the three people who cared enough to remember) is the kind of low-budget, pseudo-artsy exploitation film that Sundance programmers must have slipped in as a dare. This … Read More “Aswang (1994) – When Fetuses, Fungus, and $50-a-Day Acting Collide” »

Psychological thrillers are supposed to leave you shaken, disturbed, or at least vaguely worried that your next subway ride might end with someone jabbing you with a hypodermic needle. Angel Dust, Gakuryū Ishii’s 1994 crime-horror about cults, psychiatry, and serial murder, promises exactly that. What it delivers instead is a two-hour seminar in why “slow-burn” … Read More “Angel Dust (1994): Prozac for Insomniacs Disguised as Cinema” »

There’s an old saying in horror: lightning rarely strikes twice. Sequels to classics usually trip over their own nostalgia, collapsing in a heap of cheap kills and weaker scripts. But every once in a while, lightning does hit the same house—and it fries the phone lines for good measure. When a Stranger Calls Back is … Read More “When a Stranger Calls Back (1993): Stranger Danger, Showtime Edition” »

If you’ve ever wondered what would happen if Julian Sands reprised his role as a demonic warlock but was forced to act inside a movie written by people who had only skimmed the instruction manual for Dungeons & Dragons, look no further than Warlock: The Armageddon. This 1993 supernatural horror sequel has almost nothing to … Read More “Warlock: The Armageddon (1993) – Satan’s Son, Powered by Truck Headlights” »

There are movies that unsettle you with atmosphere. There are movies that scare you with suspense. And then there’s The Untold Story, a Hong Kong crime-horror flick so grotesquely mismanaged that it manages to be both a true-crime exploitation circus and a PSA on why you should never eat pork buns from strangers. Directed by … Read More “The Untold Story (1993): The Worst Dim Sum Special Ever” »

Some horror films scare you. Some disgust you. And then there’s Trauma—a film that mostly makes you wonder if director Dario Argento accidentally left his legendary talent in Italy while packing his bags for Minneapolis. Billed as Argento’s first American feature, Trauma promised decapitations, psychosexual weirdness, and operatic suspense. What it delivers instead is a … Read More “Trauma (1993): Argento Decapitates His Own Career” »

Ah, Ticks. Or if you’re feeling fancy, Infested. The kind of direct-to-video horror movie that makes you nostalgic for bug spray commercials, because at least those had more convincing acting. Directed by Tony Randel—the man who once helmed Hellbound: Hellraiser II and somehow thought “killer steroid ticks in the woods” was a good follow-up—this film … Read More “Ticks (1993): Nature Called, and It Wants Its Budget Back” »

There are bad slasher movies, there are cheap splatter flicks, and then there’s Skinner (1993)—a film so committed to being unpleasant that you half expect the VHS tape itself to smell like formaldehyde and regret. Directed by Ivan Nagy, a man who admitted he didn’t even like horror movies (and it shows), Skinner is the … Read More “Skinner (1993): When Ted Raimi Wears Your Face and Traci Lords Hunts Him, You Know Cinema Has Lost the Plot” »