Introduction: Not Just a Bad Movie, But a Rotten One There are plenty of bad horror movies from the late ’80s. Some have monsters made out of rubber, others have plots stitched together with duct tape and desperation. Clownhouse manages the rare feat of being both a lousy film and morally bankrupt, thanks to its … Read More “Clownhouse (1989): A Horror Movie That’s More Horrific Behind the Camera” »
Introduction: Of Course It’s in the Basement Some horror films put their monsters in the woods. Some hide them in the sewers. The Cellar—true to its real estate-friendly title—goes right for the basement. This is the film’s great promise: whatever is lurking under your floorboards is infinitely worse than your landlord, termites, or unpaid utility … Read More “The Cellar (1989): The Monster That Ate Texas Oil Rights” »
Introduction: A Student Film That Ate Its Own Professor Most horror films in the late 1980s were obsessed with creative kills, rubbery gore, and how to shoehorn Freddy Krueger into MTV aesthetics. Beyond Dream’s Door, by contrast, decided to be… weird. And not just weird like “killer doll in a sailor suit” weird. I’m talking … Read More “Beyond Dream’s Door (1989): The Little Nightmare That Could” »
Introduction: The Hoff Meets the Hex Somewhere in the cinematic underworld, a witch whispered into a producer’s ear: “David Hasselhoff and Linda Blair in a haunted hotel movie—it cannot fail.” Unfortunately, it could, and it did. Witchery (also known as La Casa 4 in Italy, because why not attach random “sequels” to movies that aren’t … Read More “Witchery (1988): The Real Horror Was Sitting Through It” »
Introduction: Lovecraft Gets the B-Movie Treatment There are two kinds of H.P. Lovecraft adaptations: those that lean into the cosmic dread, existential horror, and ineffable terror of the Old Gods—and then there’s The Unnamable (1988), a film that decides the best way to interpret the master of cosmic horror is with horny college kids, a … Read More “The Unnamable (1988): When Even Lovecraft Would’ve Asked for a Refund” »
Introduction: Revelations With a Side of ’80s Hair If the Bible’s Book of Revelation had been written in Hollywood in 1988, it would’ve looked suspiciously like The Seventh Sign. Directed by Carl Schultz and starring Demi Moore before Ghost turned her into America’s resident weepy medium, this film is a strange cocktail of apocalyptic drama, … Read More “The Seventh Sign (1988): Demi Moore vs. the Apocalypse, or How to Save the World While Pregnant” »
Introduction: The Demon That Stan Winston Built Pumpkinhead is one of those rare horror films where the monster is scarier than the box office receipts. Directed by special effects maestro Stan Winston, this movie asks the big question: “What if your local witch doubled as a demonic Uber driver for vengeance?” The result is a … Read More “Pumpkinhead (1988): When Grief Calls Customer Service, a Demon Picks Up” »
Introduction: Freddy Goes MTV By 1988, Freddy Krueger wasn’t just a child-killing burn victim haunting dreams; he was a pop culture icon. He had action figures, phone hotlines, and was probably only a week away from hosting Saturday Night Live. So, when A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master hit theaters, New Line … Read More “A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master — Freddy Krueger, Now with Extra Cheese” »
Introduction: Romero Unleashes the Monkey George A. Romero spent the better part of the ’70s and ’80s making zombies the household pests of horror cinema, so it was only a matter of time before he decided to trade in the undead for… monkeys. And not just any monkeys—killer helper monkeys. If you thought Cujo made … Read More “Monkey Shines (1988): When Your Best Friend is a Murderous Capuchin” »
Introduction: Pecking Order of Garbage Some horror movies are scary. Some horror movies are funny. And some, like Killing Birds, are the cinematic equivalent of being shat on by a pigeon—you don’t know what you did to deserve it, but you feel dirty, humiliated, and oddly resentful of nature itself. Released in 1988, this Italian-American … Read More “Killing Birds (1988): When Even the Birds Want Out” »