Murder, Madness, and Mediocrity Ulli Lommel’s Olivia (a.k.a. Prozzie, Double Jeopardy, A Taste of Sin—because even the film wasn’t sure what it wanted to be called) is a psychological thriller in the same way a drunk muttering on the subway is “philosophical.” It thinks it’s edgy, even literary—cribbing from Maupassant of all people—but it plays … Read More “Olivia (1983): When Schlock Pretends to be Schiele” »
Anthology by Accident Nightmares wants you to think it’s a horror anthology, a bold stab at urban legends with teeth. The truth is, it’s television roadkill. Born as a failed NBC pilot, it drags itself onto the big screen in 1983 like a drunk who stumbled out of a bar and accidentally wandered into a … Read More “Nightmares (1983): TV Leftovers Masquerading as Horror” »
Pop Meets Horror, and Horror Blinks First Every generation has its haunted house, and in 1983, MTV was it. Neon lights, cocaine budgets, and videos that looked like secondhand perfume ads. Then along came Thriller, and the walls shook. John Landis—fresh off An American Werewolf in London—joined forces with Michael Jackson, who wasn’t content just … Read More “Michael Jackson’s Thriller: The Night MTV Learned How to Howl” »
Opening Bite: All Style, No Blood Tony Scott’s The Hunger opens with Bauhaus’s Bela Lugosi’s Dead pulsing through a nightclub while Catherine Deneuve and David Bowie stalk their prey in designer threads. It’s glossy, moody, shot like a perfume commercial—but perfume commercials usually end faster. Scott, making his directorial debut, seemed less interested in telling … Read More “The Hunger (1983): When Vampires Wear Armani and Suck the Life Out of Cinema” »
Opening Curse: A Salem Knockoff Without the Fire There are bad movies, and then there are movies that feel like a dare. The Devonsville Terror falls into the latter, a film that asks: how much empty space, wooden acting, and soggy folklore can you endure before your brain mutinies? Directed by Ulli Lommel—who never met … Read More “The Devonsville Terror (1983): When Witchcraft Meets Wisconsin Cheese” »
Opening Act: Theater of Blood, Eh? If Prom Night was Canada’s glittery disco prom massacre, Curtains is its avant-garde sibling—moody, disheveled, and clutching a broken wine glass. A slasher dressed up in arthouse clothing, the film lives in that strange liminal space where giallo fever dreams meet grindhouse thrift. It’s about actresses clawing at each … Read More “Curtains (1983): Slasher Opera in a Hag Mask” »
Opening Bell: Sweat and Spiders There’s no easing into The Boxer’s Omen. It doesn’t even flirt with subtlety. One minute you’re watching a boxing match, the next you’re knee-deep in black magic, Buddhist prophecy, and a guy coughing up technicolor vomit that looks like it came from the world’s angriest snow cone machine. The Shaw … Read More “The Boxer’s Omen (1983): Blood, Bile, and Buddhist Enlightenment” »
A Werewolf Abroad Paul Naschy wasn’t just a horror actor; he was a cottage industry. By 1983, he had been slashing, snarling, and sweating in hairy makeup for nearly two decades as Waldemar Daninsky, Spain’s most unlucky werewolf. You’d think by the tenth movie he’d run out of ways to milk the curse. Instead, Naschy … Read More “The Beast and the Magic Sword (1983): When the Werewolf Went to Kyoto” »
A Curse of Bad Cinema Some movies are cursed. Not in the way the marketing department wants you to believe, with glowing eyes and demons jumping out of portals—but cursed in the way of projects that should never have made it past the first table read. The Alchemist, directed by Charles Band under a pseudonym … Read More “The Alchemist (1983/1985): Horror by Way of a Tax Write-Off” »
The Ramsay Brothers’ Purana Mandir may hold a place in Indian horror history, but make no mistake—it’s not because of quality. It’s because when you scrape the cinematic barrel long enough, eventually you’ll hit a gooey patch of camp, curses, and polyester fashion choices that somehow refuse to die. Like its demon Samri, this movie … Read More “Purana Mandir (1984): The Old Temple… and Older Tropes” »