If you thought the original Friday the 13th was thin on plot, Part 2 says, “Hold my machete.” This is the film where Jason Voorhees finally takes over as the main killer, and instead of the iconic hockey mask, he debuts with… a pillowcase over his head. He looks less like a menacing murderer and … Read More “Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981)– Now with 30% More Burlap and 70% Less Sense” »
If you’ve ever wanted to watch Lauren Bacall star in a slasher film where the killer’s primary weapon is the U.S. Postal Service, The Fan is the fever dream for you. Unfortunately, it’s also a 95-minute cautionary tale about how not to adapt a thriller novel. The movie tries to be All About Eve meets … Read More “The Fan (1981)– Fatal Attraction for People Who Hate Musicals” »
Evilspeak is the cautionary tale of what happens when you give Clint Howard a Tandy computer, a satanic spellbook, and a script that reads like Carrie had a garage sale and WarGames bought all the leftovers. This is the 1981 horror flick where bullying meets early computer literacy, and Satan decides that the best way … Read More “Evilspeak (1981)– When Satan Upgrades to DOS” »
If you’ve ever thought, “You know what horror movies are missing? A demonic left hand with better travel benefits than me,” then Demonoid is here to prove that some ideas should remain in the dusty shoebox where they were born. This is the kind of film that promises satanic cults, ancient curses, and supernatural terror—but … Read More “Demonoid (1981) – Talk to the Hand, Because the Face is Dead” »
If Norman Rockwell ever painted small-town Americana but decided halfway through, “You know what this really needs? Corpse photography,” you’d end up with Dead & Buried. It’s part horror, part murder mystery, part deranged arts-and-crafts tutorial, and somehow all of it works. The film didn’t make much money in 1981, but decades later it’s a … Read More “Dead & Buried (1981) – Welcome to Potters Bluff, Where the Locals Kill for the Perfect Shot” »
If you’ve ever wondered what it would look like if a Hell House church skit accidentally got a theatrical release, then congratulations—you’ve just pictured A Day of Judgment. It’s billed as a “1920s Southern Gothic slasher,” but what you actually get is a morality play so heavy-handed it could knock out an ox, padded with … Read More “A Day of Judgment (1981) – Sunday School Slasher for People Who Hate Fun” »
If you’ve ever wanted to see To Kill a Mockingbird remade as a TV movie, but with less heart, more overalls, and a killer who may or may not be a possessed lawn ornament, then Dark Night of the Scarecrow is exactly the lukewarm glass of sweet tea you didn’t ask for. This CBS “horror” … Read More “Dark Night of the Scarecrow (1981) – Hay There, Mediocrity” »
The Boogens is what happens when you dig too deep — not into the earth, but into the bargain bin of creature feature scripts that should have stayed buried. The movie’s premise is simple: open an old silver mine, unleash monsters that look like what would happen if a snapping turtle mated with a Roomba, … Read More “The Boogens (1981) – Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’ Unwanted Cousins” »
A Cinematographer Walks Into a Director’s Chair… and Trips Over It Windows was Gordon Willis’s one and only attempt at directing, and after watching it, you’ll understand why he never tried again. Willis, the legendary “Prince of Darkness” who made The Godfather look like it was lit entirely by guilt and cigarette smoke, apparently decided … Read More “Windows (1980) – Rear Window, but Hornier and Way More Awkward” »
Disney Goes Goth… Sort Of Imagine if Walt Disney Productions looked at The Exorcist and said, “Let’s make that… but polite.” What we got was The Watcher in the Woods, a supernatural horror movie so aggressively soft it’s like a ghost story told in a tepid bubble bath. It has Bette Davis glaring from under … Read More “The Watcher in the Woods (1980) – Disney’s Haunted Hallmark Card from Outer Space” »