Murder on the Party Express If Halloween put Jamie Lee Curtis on the scream queen map, Terror Train cemented her as the woman you’d least want to prank… unless you had a death wish and a fondness for elaborate costuming. It’s New Year’s Eve, everyone’s drunk, in masks, and on a moving train — which … Read More “Terror Train (1980) – All Aboard the Locomotive of Ludicrous Fun” »
The Therapy Group That Should’ve Stayed Broken If Schizoid proves anything, it’s that group therapy in the early ’80s was less about emotional breakthroughs and more about gathering a ready-made pool of victims for your local masked maniac. Marianna Hill plays Julie Caffret, an advice columnist whose romantic life is tangled, her professional life is … Read More “Schizoid (1980) – A Scissor-Heavy Slasher That Cuts… Mostly the Audience’s Patience” »
Jamie Lee Curtis: Still the Queen of Screams and Slow Dances By 1980, Jamie Lee Curtis had already cemented her place in horror royalty with Halloween. But in Prom Night, she swaps the babysitter cardigan for a prom dress and proves she can survive a slasher while still pulling off synchronized disco moves. She’s Kimberly … Read More “Prom Night (1980) – A Bloody Good Time in a Powder-Blue Tux” »
When Amnesia Meets Ennui Jean Rollin’s La Nuit des Traquées (The Night of the Hunted) asks a chilling “what if” question: What if you made a horror movie where nothing scary happened, but everything felt vaguely sticky? The premise sounds intriguing — a mysterious environmental accident leaves people wandering around with their memories dissolving like … Read More “La Nuit des Traquées (1980) – Jean Rollin’s Long, Slow March Into Forgetting You Paid for This” »
The World’s Fastest Zombies… in the World’s Slowest Movie Some horror movies scare you because they’re tense, unsettling, and full of dread. Nightmare City scares you because you realize 15 minutes in that you’ve still got another 85 minutes to go. Directed by Umberto Lenzi, this “zombie” movie (he insists they’re not zombies, just “radiation … Read More “Nightmare City (1980) – When Zombies Run, Shoot Guns, and Make You Wish They’d Just Killed You Instead” »
When Your Monster Movie Is 90% Meetings and 10% Monster Monstroid bills itself as “based on a true story” from Colombia in 1971 — which is already a red flag, because the only “true” part here is that the film exists. Everything else feels like it was pulled out of a leaky filing cabinet marked … Read More “Monstroid (1980) – The Toxic Horror That Kills More Brain Cells Than It Does Characters” »
Suspiria’s Weird Cousin Who Moved to New York Inferno is the cinematic equivalent of getting an invitation to a glamorous rooftop party, only to arrive and find out it’s being held in a condemned building with no working elevator. Sure, Dario Argento’s 1977 Suspiria was a surreal, candy-colored fever dream that felt dangerous and intoxicating. … Read More “Inferno (1980) – When Dario Argento Turns New York Into a Funhouse and You Just Want to Go Home” »
Small-Town Gothic, With All the Horsepower of a Lawn Mower If you’ve ever inherited an old house from a creepy aunt and thought, “Gee, I hope it comes with a used hearse, a devil-worship subplot, and a romantic subplot so tepid it could be served at room temperature,” then The Hearse is your dream come … Read More “The Hearse (1980) – When Your Inheritance is Haunted and So is the Script” »
Visually, He Knows You’re Alone has all the polish of a home-video production funded by someone’s rich aunt who insisted on being on set every day. Staten Island’s streets, amusement parks, and abandoned hospitals are captured with the enthusiasm of a tour guide reading from a pamphlet. The camera lingers a little too long on … Read More “He Knows You’re Alone (1980): The Wedding You’ll Never Forget (Literally)” »
If you ever wondered what it would look like if someone tried to shoot a gothic thriller on a shoestring budget in the Australian outback and then sell it as American political intrigue, congratulations—you’ve met Harlequin. Director Simon Wincer, clearly inspired by the artistic ambition of a man who just discovered Panavision, treats his camera … Read More “Harlequin (1980): Or How to Make Rasputin Pay Taxes in the 1980s” »