Poché Pictures

There are bad movies, and then there are crime scenes like The Lonely Lady—a 1983 catastrophe so gloriously miscalculated it makes Showgirls look like Citizen Kane with implants. Directed by Peter Sasdy, a man who once made respectable horror films, this film feels like it was edited on a cocktail napkin during a coke bender … Read More ““The Lonely Lady” (1983) – The Typewriter from Hell” »

Imagine being handed the grand legend of King Arthur—a saga of chivalry, magic, knights, and destiny—and deciding, “Nah, let’s shoot it like a low-budget Eurotrash soap opera.” That’s King Arthur: The Young Warlord, directed by Peter Sasdy in 1975, a flick that drains the romance, the magic, and most of the sense out of Camelot, … Read More ““King Arthur: The Young Warlord” (1975) – A Medieval Mess with Sponge-Sword Battles” »

Every now and then, a movie comes along that promises environmental horror, government conspiracies, and grotesque body horror—but instead serves up 90 minutes of a man in a beige suit walking around an island asking people questions. That’s Doomwatch (1972), directed by Peter Sasdy, the cinematic equivalent of a wet sponge: vaguely unpleasant, slowly disintegrating, … Read More ““Doomwatch” (1972) – Fishy Business in the Bay of Boredom” »

Let’s imagine you’re Hammer Films in 1971. You’ve got the sets. You’ve got the fog machines. You’ve got the cleavage budget covered. What do you do? You adapt the gruesome legend of Countess Elizabeth Báthory, the real-life Hungarian noblewoman who allegedly bathed in the blood of virgins to preserve her youth. This thing should write … Read More ““Countess Dracula” (1971) – A Bloodbath of Beige” »

If Westworld had been lobotomized, dragged through a spaghetti western, and then forgotten in a broom closet at Pinewood Studios, the result might look something like Peter Sasdy’s 1977 misfire Welcome to Blood City. It’s the kind of film that thinks it’s being profound because the characters don’t know what’s going on—when in reality, neither … Read More ““Welcome to Blood City” (1977) – The Old West Just Got Dumber” »

If Rosemary’s Baby had a nasty head injury and stumbled drunkenly into a B-movie casting call in Soho, the result might look something like Sharon’s Baby—a film so misbegotten, so tonally confused, it should come with a birth certificate stamped “illegitimate by Satan.” Directed by Peter Sasdy, a man who once helmed elegant nightmares like … Read More ““Sharon’s Baby” (1975) – Satan Called. He Wants a Refund.” »

If you’ve ever wanted your ghost stories served with a side of proto-silicon dread and early-’70s British tech panic, then The Stone Tape is your weird little cup of tea. And bless Peter Sasdy’s austere, clinical direction for delivering this dish of supernatural psychosis like it was piped in straight from a BBC lab soaked … Read More ““The Stone Tape” (1972) – Haunted by Data, Doomed by Design” »

If Sigmund Freud and Jack the Ripper had a lovechild and raised it on bloodstained lace and parental trauma, the result would be Peter Sasdy’s Hands of the Ripper, a classy little Hammer horror that plays like a Victorian slasher psychodrama with eyeliner, elegance, and an uncomfortably Freudian kick to the soul. Released in 1971—just … Read More ““Hands of the Ripper” (1971) Review – When Daddy Issues Come With a Scalpel” »

Let’s get one thing straight: if you’re going to summon Dracula back from the grave using powdered blood and a cult séance, maybe don’t flake out halfway through the ritual. It’s rude, it’s tacky, and worst of all—it pisses off the Prince of Darkness. And when Dracula gets pissed, he doesn’t file a complaint with … Read More ““Taste the Blood of Dracula” (1970) Review – Or: How to Get Hammered on Victorian Hypocrisy and Hemoglobin” »