Poché Pictures

Premise: Dracula Goes East… Then Gets Lost in TranslationOur story begins in 1804 Transylvania, where a Taoist monk named Kah drags a pointy-brush Dracula (John Forbes‑Robertson) out of his coffin to help reanimate seven golden-masked vampires in China. Dracula says yes—after snatching the monk’s body, because… cultural appropriation? Fast forward a century and Professor Van … Read More ““The Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires” (1974) Why you can’t mash kung fu and Dracula without accidentally mixing beef and toothpaste.” »

Imagine buying a postcard‑perfect Gothic mansion only to discover it’s cursed—not by demons, but by a script that’s convinced jump‑scares and severed hands are enough to pass for storytelling. And Now the Screaming Starts! is Amicus’s full‑length foray into Hammer‑style Gothic—but sadly, it’s haunted more by lazy plotting than genuine terror. It’s like ordering beef … Read More ““And Now the Screaming Starts!” (1973): Gothic Creepiness Dressed in Pajamas” »

Picture this: you’re a hotshot young doctor, full of idealism and ambition—then told to diagnose which lunatic ran the asylum by talking to them. No résumés. No references. Just madness by monologue. That’s Asylum for you, the 1972 Amicus anthology directed by Roy Ward Baker, with four gleefully sick tales wrapped in a framing story that’s far … Read More ““Asylum” (1972): A Madhouse of Madness with One Doctor’s Really Bad Interview” »

Ah, Moon Zero Two, Hammer Films’ spaceship awkward cousin to 2001: A Space Odyssey. Imagine watching someone try to be Kubrick, only with less budget, fewer ideas, and far worse haircuts 🚀 Premise: Sapphire Asteroids & Cringe-Worthy Cowboy Costumes Set in the “future” of 2021 (yes, it predicted our time—and looked about 1969), we meet … Read More ““Moon Zero Two” (1969): A Space Western That Should Have Stayed Grounded” »

Step right up to Hammer Films’ lesser‑known circus of cruelty—The Anniversary. Here, world‑weary Bette Davis dons an eyepatch and becomes Mrs. Taggart, the family’s one‑eyed matriarch whose annual ritual isn’t celebrating matrimonial bliss—it’s psychological torture. Welcome to a birthday party where the cake is lies, the candles are sharp, and everyone leaves feeling more emotionally … Read More ““The Anniversary” (1968): A Black‑Hearted Cakewalk Through Matriarchal Malevolence” »

Roy Ward Baker’s Two Left Feet is the cinematic equivalent of teenage awkwardness bottled and sold as a feature film. Based on David Stuart Leslie’s novel In My Solitude, this British comedy-drama follows Alan Crabbe (Michael Crawford), a gawky, repressed youth whose “two left feet” aren’t just literal—they’re metaphorical tripwires on his journey through sex, … Read More ““Two Left Feet” (1963): Teenage Angst in Tight Shoes” »

Let’s start with a fact: The Monster Club is technically a movie. It has a beginning, a middle, and an end. People speak, things happen, credits roll. But beyond that, calling this thing a “film” is like calling a tax audit a romantic getaway. It’s a ghastly relic from the dying gasp of British horror … Read More “The Monster Club (1981): A Rock Concert for the Criminally Bored” »

If The Switch were a piece of furniture, it would be a warped end table abandoned on the side of the road—functional in theory, but splintered, awkward, and crawling with the termites of mediocrity. Directed by Roy Ward Baker during that long, foggy stretch of the 1970s when British horror films looked like they were … Read More “The Switch (1976): Roy Baker’s Bargain Bin Mind Swap and the Curse of British Beige” »

There’s a peculiar charm to Mission Monte Carlo, the 1974 TV movie that plays like a boozy handshake between espionage and a martini-soaked beach vacation. Directed by Roy Ward Baker, the most competent British director never to make a Bond film, and starring the ever-suave Roger Moore as Simon Templar, this entry in The Saint … Read More “Mission Monte Carlo (1974): The Saint Goes on Holiday—and Brings a Silencer” »