Let’s get one thing straight right off the bat — if you name your movie The Expert, you’re setting the bar high. You’re promising precision, danger, maybe a little swagger. You’re telling the audience, “Hey, this guy knows what the hell he’s doing.” And then you cast Jeff Speakman. Who, bless his clenched jaw and … Read More “The Expert (1995): A Black Belt in Boredom” »
By the time Maniac Cop 3 rolls around, it feels less like a sequel and more like the death rattle of a B-movie franchise that ran out of brain cells, bullets, and reasons to exist. The title says “Badge of Silence,” but they should’ve gone with “Badge of Sluggish Ennui” or maybe “Weekend at Cordell’s.” … Read More “Maniac Cop 3: Badge of Silence (1993) — Coughing Up the Badge One Last Time” »
You ever wake up in a fever dream, sweating bourbon and regret, and think, “I want to watch a movie where a zombie police officer teams up with a serial killer and then lights a strip club on fire”? Well, Maniac Cop 2 has got you covered. Unfortunately, it also wraps that lunacy in a … Read More “Maniac Cop 2 (1990): Badge of Nonsense” »
There are cop thrillers that sizzle, and then there are cop thrillers that fizzle. Relentless falls face-first into the latter — a film that tries to strike fear into your heart but ends up giving you mild déjà vu and a craving for something better. It’s the cinematic equivalent of reheated chili: vaguely familiar, questionably … Read More “Relentless (1989): The Only Thing Relentless Is the Cliché” »
There’s a special place in the VHS bargain bin for movies like Hit List — a place where action movies go to die, surrounded by sun-faded copies of Gymkata and Red Scorpion. Directed by William Lustig, the man behind cult slashers like Maniac Cop, this one somehow manages to be both overcooked and underwhelming, like … Read More “Hit List (1989): Who Approved This List?” »
In the late 1980s, America was terrified of two things: violent crime and the rising price of hairspray. Somewhere between Reaganomics and Satanic Panic came Maniac Cop, a greasy, pulpy slasher that dared to ask the question: what if your local beat cop was also a seven-foot-tall undead psycho with a vendetta? The answer, it … Read More “Maniac Cop (1988): Protect and Sever” »
There’s a particular kind of cinematic relic from the early ’80s that smells like hot asphalt, cigarette butts, and revenge. Vigilante (1982) is one of those. Directed by William Lustig — the same grease-stained genius behind Maniac — it’s a blue-collar revenge fantasy soaked in rage, sweat, and the kind of acting you’d expect from … Read More “Vigilante (1982): When Justice Takes a Coffee Break, Robert Forster Brings the Pain” »
Directed by William LustigStarring Joe Spinell, Caroline MunroWritten by Joe Spinell If Taxi Driver and a bottle of cheap gin had a baby in a New York alleyway, it would probably look like Maniac — a filthy, sleazy, blood-soaked grindhouse flick held together by duct tape, sweat, and Joe Spinell’s maniacal breathing. Released in 1980 … Read More “Maniac (1980): A Love Letter to the Unhinged, Sweaty, and Unapologetically Deranged” »
Directed by Herbert RossStarring John Cusack, James Spader, Imogen Stubbs If you’ve ever wondered what would happen if you took The Firm, removed all the suspense, neutered the drama, and replaced the thriller with a yawn-inducing tale of political betrayal between frat bros, congratulations — you’ve just conjured True Colors. It’s the cinematic equivalent of … Read More “True Colors (1991): When Ambition Met Boredom and They Both Died Inside” »
Directed by Peter Yates. Starring Cher, Dennis Quaid, and Liam Neeson. If you’ve ever sat through jury duty and thought, This could make a great movie, congratulations — you’ve just pitched Suspect, the 1987 legal thriller that turns a slow, gray Monday in municipal court into 121 minutes of cinematic tedium. This isn’t a thriller. … Read More “Suspect (1987): Courtroom Dreck in a Trench Coat” »
