The Haunted Housewives Club
If The Entity was about the terrifying trauma of being assaulted by an invisible specter, Satan’s Mistress is about… enjoying it. This is the erotic ghost story for anyone who thinks Casper would’ve been better if he was 6’4”, had perfect hair, and wore silk capes. Lana Wood plays Lisa, a woman so neglected by her husband Carl that she starts looking for love in all the wrong places—namely, the afterlife.
Enter the Tall, Dark, and See-Through Stranger
Lisa’s nighttime visitor is played by Kabir Bedi, whose spectral seduction involves looking like he just stepped out of a cologne ad while also technically being dead. The man could probably sell you life insurance and you’d still let him in your bedroom. And unlike most horror ghosts, he’s not rattling chains or moaning from the attic—he’s busy making sure Lisa’s needs are very, very met.
The Bond Girl Reunion Nobody Asked For
This film gives us the surreal pairing of Lana Wood (Diamonds Are Forever’s Plenty O’Toole) and Britt Ekland (The Man with the Golden Gun’s Mary Goodnight). In theory, this could’ve been an epic Bond girl team-up. In practice, Britt Ekland shows up, says some lines, and probably cashes the easiest paycheck of her career. Lana Wood, however, commits fully—delivering a performance that’s part melodrama, part late-night cable softcore.
John Carradine, Clergyman-for-Hire
And then there’s John Carradine, who appears as Father Stratten. His role is basically to show up, mutter some exorcism-lite lines, and remind us that even in ghost erotica, there’s always one old guy warning everyone about “ancient evils.” His presence is the cinematic equivalent of sprinkling holy water on a martini.
Consensual Spectral Relations
The big selling point here? This is the rare horror movie where the supernatural sex is 100% consensual. Lisa isn’t screaming in fear—she’s screaming in… well, let’s just say the neighbors are probably jealous. It’s The Ghost and Mrs. Muir if Mrs. Muir also ordered satin sheets and a copy of Playgirl.
Why It Works (and Why It’s Ridiculous)
Satans’s Mistress works because it’s completely shameless. It doesn’t pretend to be anything other than what it is: a soft-focus, fog-filled, melodramatic supernatural romance with occasional horror trappings. Yes, the plot is thinner than a soap bubble, but the movie delivers exactly what the title promises—lust, ghosts, and a dash of devilry.
Final Verdict: This isn’t scary horror, it’s “sip wine and yell at the screen” horror. Best enjoyed late at night with friends who appreciate the rare beauty of a movie where the haunting is also date night.
