Skip to content

Poché Pictures

  • Movies
  • YouTube
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Privacy Policy
  • Home
  • Reviews
  • Short Circuit 2 (1988): Johnny Five Is Alive… Unfortunately

Short Circuit 2 (1988): Johnny Five Is Alive… Unfortunately

Posted on June 22, 2025 By admin No Comments on Short Circuit 2 (1988): Johnny Five Is Alive… Unfortunately
Reviews

Let’s be honest—Short Circuit 2 is less a sequel and more a cash-in that proves even lovable robots should know when to retire. The original had its charm: a Cold War-era E.T. knockoff with Steve Guttenberg and a robot learning to love. But then came the sequel nobody really asked for—Short Circuit 2—which dumped Guttenberg, doubled down on cultural insensitivity, and dragged poor Johnny Five into the mean streets of 1980s Toronto pretending to be New York City.

And oh boy, the novelty of a wisecracking robot wears off faster than a Rubik’s Cube in a landfill.


Plot? We Barely Programmed One

Ben Jahrvi (played by Fisher Stevens in brownface, yes, we’ll get there) moves to “New York” to start a toy company. Why a toy company? Because this is a sequel, and sequels often confuse “stakes” with “nonsense.” Soon, Ben is recruited by some conmen to build mini Johnny Fives, unaware they’re actually using him to rob a bank. Naturally, Johnny Five shows up just in time to get entangled in the plot, develop a crush on a human woman, and almost die a long, drawn-out robotic death.

It’s less Short Circuit and more Death Wish: The Circuit Years.


Johnny Five: Cute Robot, Annoying Personality

Johnny Five is alive—and in full-on stand-up comic mode. He’s now quoting The Three Stooges, jamming to El DeBarge, and talking like a malfunctioning morning zoo DJ. It’s like the writers couldn’t decide if they wanted him to be WALL-E or Rodney Dangerfield, so they just split the difference and prayed for merchandising deals.

His voice is a scratchy, nasal assault of catchphrases, puns, and gibberish. If a Speak & Spell developed ADHD and read too many Reader’s Digests, it would sound like this.

By the third act, you’re not worried if Johnny Five will survive—you’re just hoping he’ll shut the hell up.


Fisher Stevens in Brownface: What Were We Thinking?

Here’s the big blinking neon problem: Fisher Stevens plays Ben, an Indian man with a cartoonish accent, painted skin, and all the authenticity of a Taco Bell in New Delhi. It was problematic in 1986. In 1988? Still problematic. Now? Straight-up cringe. It’s not Stevens’ fault entirely—he’s a good actor doing what the script demands—but there’s only so much “Oh my goodness gracious!” one can take before curling into a fetal ball of secondhand embarrassment.

It’s like watching a live-action impression of Apu from The Simpsons, but without the satire. Just the voice, the mannerisms, and none of the dignity.


Toronto Pretending to Be New York: Fooling No One

The movie’s set in New York, but it’s obviously Toronto. Like, offensively obviously. If the CN Tower were any more visible, Johnny Five would’ve tried to climb it. It’s a cityscape of low-stakes street crime, empty warehouses, and the kind of alleys that scream “we had no budget, just roll camera.”


The “Villains”: Wet Paper Towels in Suits

The bad guys here are a couple of bumbling low-level crooks trying to use Johnny Five for a bank heist. They’re about as threatening as soggy toast. You keep waiting for them to get flattened by a falling crate of robot arms or slip on an oil slick. Instead, they chew scenery like they’re in a low-budget Home Alone spinoff, and their big plan boils down to “make the robot do crimes and hope nobody notices.

Spoiler: people notice. Especially when your robot quotes TV commercials while tunneling into a bank vault.


The Robotic Beating: The Most Emotionally Confusing Scene of the ‘80s

Let’s talk about the scene that traumatized kids and baffled adults: Johnny Five getting beaten by a crowbar. That’s right. The lovable robot gets jumped by thugs and beaten within an inch of his circuitry. It’s slow, brutal, and weirdly graphic. Imagine The Passion of the Christ, but for toasters.

You’re not sure whether to feel sad, horrified, or just baffled by the tonal whiplash. A movie that five minutes ago was making fart jokes now wants you to mourn the brutalization of a children’s toy with sentience. Even Old Yeller wasn’t this cruel.


But There’s a Happy Ending… Sort Of

Johnny gets repaired (with a mohawk, because that’s how the ‘80s handled trauma), the bad guys go to jail, and Ben gets the girl. Johnny Five becomes an American citizen at the end, which somehow feels more like a threat than a resolution.

Cue El DeBarge again. Because nothing says emotional closure like synth-pop and dancing robots.


Final Thoughts: Power Off, Please

Short Circuit 2 is what happens when a studio says, “Hey, people liked the robot, let’s just do that again, but dumber and longer.” It’s a mess of tone, logic, and outdated comedy, wrapped in a package that pretends it’s kid-friendly while subjecting viewers to cultural appropriation, street violence, and philosophical questions about the soul of a forklift.

There’s no Guttenberg. The laughs are forced. And Johnny Five talks so much, you start rooting for the crowbar.


Final Rating: 1.5 Malfunctioning Circuits Out of 5

Watch it only if you’re nostalgic for the ‘80s, curious about how far Hollywood has (hopefully) come, or really, really into robot abuse as an emotional subplot.

Post Views: 375

Post navigation

❮ Previous Post: Jack’s Back (1988): Half Jack the Ripper, Half Soap Opera, All Late-80s Weirdness
Next Post: Death Warrant (1990): Lock Me Up and Throw Away the Screenplay ❯

You may also like

Reviews
“Birth” (2004) – Nicole Kidman Marries a Man, Then Gets Emotionally Stalked by a Child. And That’s the Normal Part.
July 18, 2025
Reviews
“Dr. Terror’s Gallery of Horrors” (1967): Tales from the Scrap Bin of Sanity
August 3, 2025
Reviews
Jaws: The Revenge (1987): This Time, It’s Personal (and Pointless)
August 25, 2025
Reviews
Satan Returns (1996)
September 4, 2025

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Dark. Raw. Unfiltered. Independent horror for the real ones. $12.99/month.

CLICK HERE TO BROWSE THE FILMS

Recent Posts

  • No One Will Save You (2023) – A nearly wordless alien home-invasion thriller
  • Night Shift (2023) A woman, a creepy roadside motel, a bad case of trauma, and the worst first day at work since “I swear I thought ‘reply all’ was private.”
  • New Life (2023): A Zombie Movie That Should Have Stayed in Quarantine
  • Nefarious (2023): When Possession Turns Into a Sermon with Lighting Cues
  • Mary Cherry Chua (2023): A Ghost Story That Should’ve Stayed Buried

Categories

  • Behind The Scenes
  • Character Actors
  • Death Wishes
  • Follow The White Rabbit
  • Here Lies Bud
  • Hollywood "News"
  • Movies
  • Philosophy & Poetry
  • Reviews
  • Scream Queens & Their Directors
  • Uncategorized
  • Zap aka The Wicked
  • Zoe Dies In The End
  • Zombie Chicks

Copyright © 2025 Poché Pictures.

Theme: Oceanly News Dark by ScriptsTown