You know a live-action blockbuster is in trouble when the tie-in cartoon is the thing people actually enjoy. Enter Van Helsing: The London Assignment, a 30-minute animated prequel to Stephen Sommers’ monster-mash movie Van Helsing. Yes, this is the appetizer that ended up tasting better than the overcooked main course. It’s like ordering a greasy fast-food combo and finding out the toy in the Happy Meal is better designed than the burger you just bit into.
Animated by Production I.G. (yes, the folks behind Ghost in the Shell), this straight-to-video horror short is a gothic romp through Victorian London, with Hugh Jackman gamely voicing his hat-wearing, crossbow-loving monster slayer. And the best part? It embraces the absurdity. Instead of trying to sell us on the idea that Van Helsing is the Marvel Cinematic Universe’s awkward cousin, The London Assignment just goes full Saturday morning cartoon—except with soul-stealing, balloon hijackings, and a horny Queen Victoria.
London Calling (and Screaming)
The story opens with a string of grisly murders in foggy London town, which immediately tells us two things: one, the animators watched From Hell and took notes, and two, Dr. Jekyll is having a busy social calendar. Yes, the esteemed doctor is moonlighting as Jack the Ripper, except instead of just stabbing prostitutes, he’s juicing their souls into smoothies for his evil science projects. Waste not, want not, right?
Van Helsing and his trusty sidekick Friar Carl are dispatched by the Vatican to clean up the mess. Cue an investigation involving séances, underground fortresses, and a Queen Victoria who gets her Benjamin Button makeover courtesy of Dr. Jekyll’s murder cocktails. She thinks she’s in love, but really, she’s dating Hyde in his “nice guy” disguise. That’s the moral of the story, kids: don’t trust men who offer you potions that make you younger. It never ends well.
Mr. Hyde: Proof That Leg Day Is Optional
The real show-stealer here is Robbie Coltrane as the voice of Hyde, who looks like the lovechild of Shrek and a steroidal WWE wrestler. He lumbers around London like a kaiju on a pub crawl, snapping necks, snarling threats, and demonstrating that Victorian fashion was not ready for his particular brand of body dysmorphia.
Unlike the CGI Hyde in the Van Helsing movie—who looked like an unused boss fight from a PlayStation 2 game—animated Hyde actually works. He’s menacing, grotesque, and fun to watch. The animators lean into the exaggeration, giving him facial tics and hulking body language that sell the character as more than just “Dr. Jekyll but thicc.”
And let’s be honest: watching Hyde crash a hot-air balloon into Tower Bridge while trying to throttle Hugh Jackman is infinitely more entertaining than the Frankenstein/Dracula fan-fiction Sommers gave us in the film.
Friar Carl: The Real MVP
Every monster hunter needs a comic relief sidekick, and Friar Carl (voiced by David Wenham) delivers. He’s cowardly, fussy, and constantly wondering why the Vatican can’t just hire someone else to fight soul-devouring maniacs. You know, like literally anyone not carrying a crossbow and a death wish.
Carl is the audience surrogate, asking the questions we’d ask if we were trapped in this Victorian nightmare. Questions like: “Wait, why is Queen Victoria suddenly 25 again?” and “Why do we keep chasing maniacs across collapsing landmarks?” He’s also the only character with the good sense to run away when things get messy. If Van Helsing is Batman, Carl is Alfred—except Alfred keeps screaming and demanding hazard pay.
Queen Victoria: Cougar Supreme
Here’s a sentence I never thought I’d write: Queen Victoria is the sex symbol of this movie. Yep, the plump widow in mourning dress becomes a radiant young beauty after slurping down Jekyll’s soul potions. And she’s not shy about it either—flirting shamelessly with Van Helsing, who spends most of the short dodging her advances like a man allergic to monarchs.
When she finally plants one on him at daybreak, the spell wears off mid-smooch, transforming her back into her elderly self. Her immediate reaction? Slap Van Helsing across the face and call the guards. Honestly, it’s the most relatable moment in the film. If I aged 50 years during a kiss, I’d be furious too.
Why It Works Better Than the Movie
So why does this half-hour animated oddity succeed where the $160 million film flopped? Three reasons:
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It Knows It’s Ridiculous.
Instead of trying to force a monster cinematic universe, it just gives us one goofy adventure with Jekyll and Hyde. No werewolf melodrama. No Dracula with a bad accent. Just pure gothic cartoon nonsense. -
It Looks Better in Animation.
Production I.G.’s gothic stylization makes Hyde’s grotesque physique and London’s foggy streets feel alive. What looked like bad CGI in live action becomes creepy and atmospheric here. -
It’s Mercifully Short.
At 30 minutes, it doesn’t overstay its welcome. We get in, watch Hugh Jackman fight a monster on Tower Bridge, and get out before anyone starts talking about destiny or bloodlines.
Voice Work: Better Than It Has Any Right To Be
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Hugh Jackman as Van Helsing: He could’ve phoned it in, but Jackman actually sounds invested. It’s basically Wolverine in a fedora, which, frankly, works.
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Robbie Coltrane as Hyde: Delightfully grotesque. Imagine Hagrid on bath salts.
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Tress MacNeille as Queen Victoria: Brings just the right mix of sultry and scolding. One minute she’s cooing like a Disney princess, the next she’s calling for your execution.
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David Wenham as Carl: The MVP, selling both the humor and the constant exasperation of being Vatican bait.
Final Thoughts
Van Helsing: The London Assignment is proof that sometimes the smallest piece of a franchise ends up being the best. It’s stylish, knowingly campy, and just the right level of deranged. Unlike its bloated live-action sibling, it doesn’t try to be Lord of the Rings with vampires. Instead, it’s content being a gothic cartoon where Hyde crushes things, Queen Victoria gets frisky, and Van Helsing broods attractively in the moonlight.
It’s not high art, but it’s highly entertaining. Think of it as the weird little short film that snuck out of the shadow of its blockbuster big brother and said, “Don’t worry, I got this.” And honestly, it did.
