Introduction: This Milk’s Gone Sour Some films age like fine wine. Curdled curdles like its namesake. This 1996 black comedy-thriller, produced by Quentin Tarantino (back when his name alone could greenlight a script scrawled on a cocktail napkin), tries to be edgy, funny, and macabre. Instead, it lands somewhere between a bad student film and … Read More “Curdled (1996) Review: A Bloody Mess That Spoils Fast” »
Introduction: Ruthless and Pointless If you ever wanted to sit through a movie that feels like a never-ending argument between two bumper stickers, Citizen Ruth has you covered. Alexander Payne’s 1996 directorial debut aims for sharp satire about abortion politics, but instead delivers a joyless, meandering, one-joke premise stretched across 100 minutes of smug performances … Read More “Citizen Ruth (1996) Review: A Sanctimonious Slog in an Abortion Clown Car” »
Introduction: The Grindhouse That Forgot Its Brakes There’s a saying in screenwriting: pick a lane. From Dusk Till Dawn not only swerves between genres—it blows through every guardrail on the way down. What starts as a half-hearted crime thriller quickly nosedives into B-movie vampire slop, dragging Hollywood’s most overhyped figures—George Clooney—along for the ride. And … Read More “From Dusk Till Dawn (1996) Review: When Vampires Attack and Nepotism Bites Harder” »
The Premise: Revenge Served Lukewarm, With a Side of Confusion Mrs. Munck is the kind of movie that makes you want to double-check your prescription — not because you’re missing anything, but because you can’t believe someone actually thought this was a good idea. Directed by Diane Ladd, who also stars in the title role, … Read More “Mrs. Munck (1995) Review: When Revenge Goes Limp” »
The Setup: Noir With a Spray Tan Love Is a Gun is one of those early ‘90s erotic thrillers that you’d find sandwiched between a Shannon Tweed classic and an “after dark” Cinemax rerun. But unlike its straight-to-video cousins, this one has two things going for it: a tighter-than-expected script and Kelly Preston playing a … Read More “Love Is a Gun (1994) Review: Kelly Preston Shoots to Kill (and We’re the Willing Victims)” »
Intro: When Love is Blind… and So is the Script There are romantic comedies that make you believe in love. Then there are ones that make you believe in root canals. Only You is the kind of film that asks you to suspend disbelief, common sense, and your will to live — all in 85 … Read More “Only You (1992) Review: A Rom-Com Misfire with a Kelly Preston You Don’t Deserve” »
The Premise: When Your Vegas Trip Turns into a Manhunt Imagine if The Fugitive and Ferris Bueller had a love child, and then that kid got stuck in a B-movie casino thriller where nobody wins — not even the audience. That’s Run, a film where Patrick Dempsey goes from slick college kid to wanted fugitive … Read More “Run (1991) Review: A Sprint to Nowhere — But at Least It’s a Stylish Jog” »
Introduction: Plastic Surgery Meets Black Magic and Moral Bankruptcy You know you’re in Tales from the Crypt territory when the plot involves an elderly millionaire trying to seduce a young woman by literally buying a new body, only to have it all unravel in a glorious trainwreck of vanity, betrayal, and horror-host cackling. “The Switch” … Read More “Tales of the Crypt ‘The Switch’ Episode (1990) Review: An Old Man, a New Body, and Kelly Preston Worth Dying For” »
Introduction: Welcome to the Late ‘80s, Where Bad Ideas Were Given Budgets The Experts is one of those movies that seems to have been greenlit because a studio exec owed someone a favor. Or lost a bet. Or maybe just wanted to see if a film could be made entirely out of hair gel, neon … Read More “The Experts (1989) Review: A Cold War Comedy With the Warmth of a Siberian Gulag” »
Introduction: In the Beginning, There Was a Bad Idea Sometimes Hollywood greenlights a movie based on a dare. Twins feels like one of those dares. The pitch meeting must’ve gone something like this: “What if we put Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito in a movie… as identical twins?” Cue the coke-snorting execs laughing so hard … Read More “Twins (1988) Review: One Joke, Two Hours, Zero Logic” »
