Introduction: Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered Some movies sneak up on you. Spellbinder is one of those late-’80s occult thrillers that didn’t quite make a splash on release but found its home on late-night cable — the kind of movie you half-remember seeing between infomercials and commercials for psychic hotlines. And yet, here it is, casting … Read More “Spellbinder (1988) Review: Witchy Woman, Sultry Spells, and Kelly Preston in Full Bloom” »
Introduction: Witch, Please If Airplane! and Monty Python and the Holy Grail had a drunken one-night stand during a community theater production of The Crucible, the resulting mess might look something like Love at Stake. Released in 1987, this comedy about the Salem witch trials tries so hard to be clever, it trips over its … Read More “Love at Stake (1987) Review: Burn It, Bury It, Forget It” »
Introduction: Noir with a Porn Mustache If the 1980s were the high school locker room of cinema, 52 Pick-Up was the older burnout kid who sold bootleg pornos from his Camaro and told you Santa wasn’t real. Directed by John Frankenheimer and based on an Elmore Leonard novel, this 1986 film is a sweaty blend … Read More “52 Pick-Up (1986) Review: Sleaze, Blackmail, and the Best Midlife Crisis a Man Could Regret” »
Intro: The Shuttle Launch No One Asked For There are bad ideas. Then there are catastrophically tone-deaf ideas. And then there’s SpaceCamp, the family-friendly film about kids accidentally launched into space — released just months after the Challenger disaster. That’s like releasing Titanic 2: Jack’s Revenge the day after an iceberg convention. Even if you … Read More “SpaceCamp (1986) Review: Houston, We Have a Script Problem” »
Intro: American Pie with a Brain Tumor Before American Pie warmed up a flaky crust of teenage lust for the late ’90s, 1985’s Mischief was already fumbling under the bra strap of the American Midwest. Set in the pastel-tinted 1950s, it’s a coming-of-age tale with the moral depth of a nudie calendar and just enough … Read More “Mischief (1985) Review: Horny in the Heartland, Saved by Kelly Preston” »
If you’ve ever wanted to watch a movie where Charles Bronson grumbles his way through a game of strip-and-stab with a naked serial killer, congratulations — 10 to Midnight exists. If you haven’t, congratulations again — you’re the sane one. This Cannon Films oddity plays like Dirty Harry had a head injury and wandered into … Read More “10 to Midnight (1983): Charles Bronson vs. Naked Knife Guy – And Somehow They Both Lose” »
There are bad movies. Then there are bad prison movies. And then there’s Death Warrant, which feels like it was written during a head injury and filmed between kickboxing matches. It stars Jean-Claude Van Damme as a cop who goes undercover in a prison to investigate some shady inmate deaths, and it plays out exactly … Read More “Death Warrant (1990): Lock Me Up and Throw Away the Screenplay” »
Let’s be honest—Short Circuit 2 is less a sequel and more a cash-in that proves even lovable robots should know when to retire. The original had its charm: a Cold War-era E.T. knockoff with Steve Guttenberg and a robot learning to love. But then came the sequel nobody really asked for—Short Circuit 2—which dumped Guttenberg, … Read More “Short Circuit 2 (1988): Johnny Five Is Alive… Unfortunately” »
If Jack’s Back were a cocktail, it would be one part murder mystery, one part psychological thriller, and one part soap opera stirred gently with a VHS tape. Released in 1988 and directed by Rowdy Herrington (yes, the guy who would soon gift the world Road House), this Ripper-inspired flick is equal parts intriguing and … Read More “Jack’s Back (1988): Half Jack the Ripper, Half Soap Opera, All Late-80s Weirdness” »
There are movies that grip you by the collar and drag you into the action. Then there’s Malone—a film that politely knocks on the door of your attention span, trips over the welcome mat, and collapses on the porch with a sigh. If you’ve ever wanted to watch Burt Reynolds do a slow-motion walking midlife … Read More “Malone (1987): Burt Reynolds in Flannel—The Action Thriller Equivalent of Cold Oatmeal” »
