Some film series age like wine. Others age like expired milk. Then there’s Witchcraft, a horror franchise that went straight from “maybe interesting” to “are they serious?” in just three installments. Witchcraft III: The Kiss of Death proves that if you put a law degree, some demonic nightclub nonsense, and a witch doctor named Reverend Jondular into a blender, the result isn’t a movie—it’s a 90-minute accident you’ll need hazard pay to sit through.
William Spanner: From Baby Warlock to Boring Lawyer
Our reluctant hero William Spanner (Charles Solomon Jr.) has grown up. In the first movie, he was a cursed baby. In the second, a moody teen. Now? He’s an assistant district attorney, rocking a suit and a haircut that screams “background actor on L.A. Law.” Apparently, Spanner survived puberty and law school but forgot to hire an acting coach.
Instead of embracing his magical heritage, he’s determined to live a normal life—which, in horror logic, guarantees that supernatural evil is about to kick down his door. Imagine Harry Potter graduating Hogwarts only to spend his life filing tax returns. That’s Spanner.
The Court Case from Hell
Spanner’s big legal case involves defending Ruben Carter (Ahmad Reese), a teenager accused of raping and murdering a divorcee. Ruben’s fingerprints are all over the crime scene, the evidence is damning, and the prosecuting attorney (Nicole Lauren) acts like she’s auditioning for a soap opera. The courtroom scenes aim for Law & Order but land closer to community theater dress rehearsal.
Spanner insists Ruben is innocent, but instead of using legal strategy, he drifts toward supernatural solutions. Because why call expert witnesses when you can dabble in the occult?
Enter Louis: Discount Dracula with a Dance Club
While Spanner is trying to keep his law license, his girlfriend Charlotte (Lisa Toothman) is busy being seduced by Louis (Dominic Luciana), a nightclub owner with demonic powers and the fashion sense of a low-rent Prince impersonator. Louis doesn’t just run a nightclub—he uses it as a recruitment center for his personal harem of mind-controlled women.
Imagine Studio 54 crossed with a Satanic Panic PSA. It’s as if the filmmakers wanted a villain who was part Dracula, part sleazy used-car salesman. Spoiler: they failed.
Reverend Jondular Saves the Day (Sort Of)
Then comes Reverend Jondular (William L. Baker), a witch doctor who looks like he wandered in from a completely different movie. He’s there to remind Spanner that, yes, magic is real, and no, you can’t just ignore it while you file motions.
The Reverend helps Spanner rediscover his powers, but their training sessions feel less like epic mysticism and more like motivational seminars. Think Tony Robbins, but with incense and a vague threat of human sacrifice.
Special Effects: Dollar Store Demons
This movie had a budget that makes pocket change look generous. The effects are laughably bad. Spells fizzle like sparklers from a discount fireworks stand, and the “demonic possession” sequences mostly involve women staring blankly while the director yells, “Look sexy, but evil!”
And don’t expect gore. The camera cuts away from anything that might cost more than a can of ketchup. The only thing scarier than the demons is the lighting—half the movie looks like it was filmed in someone’s basement with a flashlight.
Acting: Wooden Stakes All Around
Charles Solomon Jr. as Spanner delivers his lines with all the passion of a man ordering a sandwich. Lisa Toothman as Charlotte spends most of the film swooning over Louis in a trance, which honestly might have been her coping mechanism for being in the movie. Dominic Luciana as Louis tries to be menacing but mostly resembles a lounge singer who wandered into the wrong set.
Nicole Lauren as Vivian Hill, the prosecutor, chews scenery like it’s her last meal. And poor Ahmad Reese, stuck playing Ruben, looks like he’s counting down the minutes until his agent’s phone stops ringing.
Continuity: Who Needs It?
The first Witchcraft was about a cursed baby. The second was about a horny teen. Now suddenly we’re in a courtroom drama with nightclubs and voodoo priests. The series doesn’t evolve so much as drunkenly stumble from one premise to the next. The only constant is William Spanner, whose character development is less “arc” and more “we needed a protagonist.”
Troma Studios: When Trash Becomes Treasure
Of course, this mess was distributed by Troma Studios, the kings of camp and schlock. Normally, Troma leans into absurdity, turning garbage into cult classics. But here? Even Troma couldn’t save it. Witchcraft III is the cinematic equivalent of reheated leftovers: technically food, but nobody’s excited about eating it.
The Real Horror: It Spawned Sequels
Here’s the kicker: this wasn’t the end. Not even close. The Witchcraft series went on to spawn sixteen films. That’s right—someone watched The Kiss of Death and thought, “We need thirteen more of these.” The series became the direct-to-video horror equivalent of a cockroach infestation: impossible to kill and somehow multiplying when nobody’s looking.
Final Verdict: A Curse Upon Your VCR
Witchcraft III: The Kiss of Death isn’t scary, sexy, or even particularly witchy. It’s a limp noodle of a movie, a Frankenstein’s monster stitched together from bad courtroom drama, softcore nightclub sleaze, and half-baked occult nonsense.
The scariest part? Realizing you wasted 90 minutes watching it when you could’ve been doing literally anything else—laundry, paying taxes, staring at a blank wall. At least those things won’t make you question your life choices quite as hard.
